The last resort

I have resorted to (and no, not the resort by the beach I would like to go to) gargling with heavily salted water.

Yep, when I have full adenoids and ear pain, the last resort is to gargle salt water and let it set in the abscesses of my throat to kill off all the bad stuff.

Of course, it's probably all in my head. I have this weird imaginative vision in my head that the little salt crystals are attacking all the little bad germies that reside in far edges of my neck. Hey, if imagination can make it feel better, why not!

P.S. It didn't work. What next?

P.S.S. Hey, I think it just started to work as I was typing that. My ear pain has a little release in it. Will my adenoids be next to feel better?

Off to gargle again.

Rejection

So, I am making some changes to my site and the decision was not easy. I was not sure what reaction to expect from people. Would I get ugly e-mails just because I decided not to give away my templates and new videos for free any more?

I announced the day before that I was making changes, but I do not believe people really read. I know I am guilty of that.

So, I put out my first e-mail that the newest template is available in the Subscriber area and watched. I immediately saw people trying to access the page to download the freebie. It takes no time when I send out an e-mail for me to see the traffic.

It wasn't very long after that I observed someone unable to access the freebie unsubbed from the Yahoo notifications group.

I'm not sure what to think about that.

At first, I sort of want to run after the person saying, "Wait! If you really cannot afford the Subscriber area, just ask and I'll give you the freebie. Don't leave me. You've been with me so long. I'm so sorry to make you so mad, but my decision wasn't easy. Am I that horrible that you should leave me?"

I feel a sting of rejection. So, I'm not worthy to this person any longer?

Then on the other hand I want to say "Good ridence! If the only thing you are interested in is getting my template for free and you are not interested in anything else I am doing, then I don't need you around!"

And then I feel guilty for even allowing myself to think that. It seems so wrong and so cruel.




At least I have assurance that God never rejects me. Even when I do not please Him, He does not reject me.

Matthew 15:24 He answered, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel."

For it is when I am doing things that do not please Him that He is there for me, a lost sheep, wandering about where I should not be. He is ready to forgive me and bring me back into His loving arms.

Isn't that an awesome feeling!

I can only pray that I can go and do likewise to others; to reach out to those who feel rejected and let them know that they are accepted. I know I fail at this too, although it is in my heart to be this kind of person.

Everyone only wants to feel accepted. So many people do not feel accepted. Why is it so hard for us to feel good about a person and yet not express it to them so that they feel accepted?

Who is it out there that feels I do not accept them when in my heart I really do? They just do not know I do because I have not said what I need to say.

If you are reading this, please know you are not alone and that people do accept you. Life just stinks sometimes.

Buying New Sheets

I absolutely love Overstock.com for buying my bedding! I've always been happy with the products. Hopefully this will be true today too.

I am so in love with the sheets I currently have one my bed that I only wish I could order the same set. They have lasted over 4 years and are now getting big holes in them. I went to look up what they were and there is no name brand with them, but they are 400 count and only cost me $52.94.


I took a peek at local prices once again and found that for my queen size bed, a 500 count sheet would cost me at least $80.00 on sale.

Everyone knows not to get sheets less than 200 count as they will begin pilling and getting those ugly balls in no time. I remember when I was SO poor that I could only afford the cheapest sheets and I absolutely hated getting all those little pills off of my sheets as they felt horrible to sleep in. I would sit for hours just pulling off those balls to get the most worth out of my money.

Four years ago I found Overstock.com and bought these current sheets and I never want to go back! Actually, comparing the length of time the sheets last to the cost, the better sheets cost less over the long run.

Overstock has this really cool search feature to find just the right sheets for your needs. Each time you choose an option, it refines the search. Of course, I started with size, then I search by thread count. I was looking at the 800 to 1000 thread counts, but realized in reading comments that going to high on count might not be good either. It appears that the high counts are very thick and heavy. In addition, they feel scratchy until they are washed several times.

So, I decided to search for "sateen," which is what my last set was, and then by price. I found this 600 count set. It does not have many details in the description, but neither did my last set. It says it has pockets large enough and it was available in the right color too! My last set was a sage color (the first time I'd ever had anything but white) and I'm in love with it.

So, I went for this one. I figured I'd test out the next count up, being 600 instead of 400, to see what it is like. Over the years, maybe I'll find the perfect count for me.

Oh, now for them to only arrive! Aren't snuggle down in new sheets just like a vacation? Maybe I need to find some new bubble bath with a great scent before the arrive.

Getting into the medicine

This is the oddest 4th of July for me.

I've told the boys to do stuff until I've grown tired of doing so. I suggest they get together to decide what to do. They usually go shopping on their own--hey, they are old enough and then some.

I understand they don't want to do anything. Strange. Is this another sign of the next stage of my life? I don't need to get sentimental and sappy right now.

So, they are comfortable in sitting around watching a rerun of some Spiderman movie and another is sleeping, while I'm on my laptop. I can hear fireworks from my window, but I'm too sick to make myself get up and go out anywhere.

I was a tad excited about maybe playing with my new camera getting shots of the fireworks. It's not going to be.

Instead, my adnoids are still full and hurting which is now making my ear ache. I almost never take medicine, but I'm finally breaking down tonight. I hate pain in my ears.

So, someone tell me how you get this medicine open? I have very strong nails and yet it is putting cracks in my thumbnail trying to open this stupid thing.

What good are those nice little pointing arrows?

If I were any sicker, I'd be helpless. They make it so hard to make it child proof which is a good thing, but they also are making is sick-person proof too!

Really. I know I'm not alone. When you are sick, you are down and your patience is down and the last thing you want to put up with is the fumbling about with shaking weak fingers trying to figure out how the medicine opens up.

Anyone with me on this one?

So, I finally get it open and now I'm sitting up waiting for it to take effect. Waiting patiently for something to drain out of my ear or make me so tired I cannot stay awake any longer.

What else is there to do while I wait for these signs of relief or incapacitation but to blog about my frustrations? Oh, and I'm doing some layout commenting too as I'm so behind on that task. So, if you get a comment that makes no sense, blame it on the medicine.

I've done babbled enough, huh? Do people really read these posts of mine? Do they really find them interesting?

House Rule #10

This is the last of the house rules--that is--until I feel a new to create a new one! I hope you have enjoyed them.

****
HOUSE RULE #10

No bathroom towels shall be left in a ball on the bedroom floors. First, the wet towels soak into the wood floor, thereby ruining the floor. Second, a towel in a ball on the floor cannot get enough air to effectively dry and, therefore, it begins to mold. Moldy towels stink. Moldy towels cause germs (and some people may have
allergies to mold, who knows). Towels need to be hung on the shower door in order to dry out.

Therefore, I should always see five towels hanging in the bathroom. The yellow ones are mom’s. The blue ones are dad’s. All other towels are for the sons. However, do not use the beach towels for bathroom towels. Mom doesn’t want to use a towel that you’ve wiped your penis with and you don’t want to use a towel she’s wiped her boobs with….let’s face it, everyone wants their own towel. (If I need to buy more towels, one color for each person, I will). When you have used your towel for several days, put it in the hamper and get out a new towel. I should never see more than five towels out at one time and I should always see five towels hanging in the bathroom, no more, nor less. I do not have the time to wash one load of towels a day. This is the way it’s been for the past umpteen years and I have no idea why you all have suddenly gotten a brain freeze.



If the rules are not followed, then the person disobeying will loose
t.v. for one week (or at least have to listen to the wrath of mom which I know you all hate).

Record Enforcement here:

Where did the weekend go?

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED!

.......why?

..............because the next moment I will remember I will be getting ready for work.



Where did the weekend go?


It was actually a great weekend.



More to come.

.......on Monday.


............also known as the first work day.

VBS Week

Vacation Bible School doesn't allow me to do much else that week.
I get up every morning and begin reading and preparing for that night's lesson. I wish I had more time to prepare ahead, but I volunteered at the last minute. Lunch time is spent gathering supplies and doing more reading. Then I rush home after work to change clothes and rush off to church to re-set up the room for that night's setting and dressing up the actors. We have four groups come through each night as we act out the story, so it keeps us hopping. Whew! I feel like I'm barely making it, but as long as the children learn, that's what is important.

This weekend the boys and I are traveling to the Senior High District Gathering, so it will be next weekend before I can get anything new up for my site. I am not happy that I cannot do it all, but appreciate your patience! I'm missing doing videos, challenges, and scrapping! So when I get time again, watch out! I'll be on a roll!

Mason has been playing Jesus in the Bible stories all week.









Jaron played the man born blind who received gifts -- not only his sight, but the gift of faith.








Hubby played Matthew the tax collector the first night .

Time with Friends

I had a great time unwinding with my friends yesterday for an overnighter. We drank and hot-tub'd the night away. I was in great need for it after pushing myself so hard for so long with all the things I need to get done.

I was excited that they were interested in learning digital scrapbooking and we spent Saturday afternoon creating two layouts together.

Credit: SBB Collaberative free Tidbytes kit.


We discovered our memories are getting worse, so it was important to do a layout right away and journal before we forget!

Credits:
Template by Timounette ,
My Scrapbook Art NSD Collaberative Kit as follows:
Scroll: Dianne Rigdon; Flower Kate Hadfield; Paper, Susan Bartolini; RicRak Amanda Heimann

This is what volunteering looks like

This is what volunteering looks like.

I cannot tell you how great it feels to see all of those envelopes finally stuffed with four sheets of paper each and all sealed! You may remember my huge to-do list last week that I shared. I have been very stressed this week about trying to get done everything I need to get done this week before I have a ten day run where I will not have much free time to do anything at home. I had so much to do in the few available days before that ten day run and this was one of the things I just had to get done.

I still need to stamp a return receipt message on each of them to get a reduced postage rate and then run them all through a postage machine, but the hardest part is done. I was up until 2:30 a.m. getting these done, but I did not care! I just needed them done!

Thinking of all my tasks was making me physically drought.

I have not been able to get much new done for the forum challenges in a long time. It makes me sad because when I do not work and get new things out, traffic and conversation in the forums go really down. That only made me feel more burdened.

However, yesterday the wonderful regulars in the forum posted so much I couldn't keep up and they were a real hoot! I do not know if they did that intentionally to make me feel better or if it was just happenstance, but I sure am blessed by them!

House Rule #9

I almost forgot to finish sharing the house rules!
I particularly like this one. What do you think?

This was an impromptu one some years back. I was SO frustrated, that I just typed it up and posted it. It benefited all as they did not have to listen to me explode and rant and I got my point across.

****
HOUSE RULE #9
The male inhabitants of this home are about ready to cause me another “yell down.” Please take note!

It is very irritating to me when my bathroom magazines become unorganized. First, I can’t find what I want. Second, I have a purpose to my mad organization. You see, the bottom compartment of magazines always gets peed on. Since I cannot seem to get you all to stop this (which I wish you would), I keep in the bottom compartment the magazines that get thrown away after reading. So, the only magazines that go in the bottom rack are the Missouri Conservationist (take out the February one and look at the front cover…look closely…see the pee!). In the second rack I put the boy scout magazines, Lutheran witnesses, and any others (since most of them get thrown away too). On the top rack is where I keep the Kids Discover magazines because we do save these. Please do continue to read (I want you to read), but please put things back where they belong when done.

Next, I have about had it with the tub faucet always dripping. I have had to fix it every time I go into the bathroom and this is getting very annoying! You MUST turn the knobs fairly strongly to keep it from dripping (including turning off the middle one…uggg..that gets to me too!)

Please sign this note (anywhere on it) so that I know you have read it. When I see four signatures on it, I will pitch it.

Thank you! Love, the female inhabitant of this home. 

Jump this!

I totally cannot believe it has been 5 days since my last post. That is SO unlike me! I have too much on my plate right now.

This is just a quick note for now.

We had a wonderful time this past weekend meeting four times with family. Good times and memories were had! Here's a rare photo of all five of us together. Don't look at how fat I am please. Remember, since they are all skinny, I look all the more fatter! Yeah, right. You believe that?

Here's a quick fun video of the guys. I am always amazed at how when there is nothing to entertain them, they find ways to entertain themselves.

Can you believe hubby and the oldest son were actually entertaining themselves by filling water bottle caps (yes, those itty bitty things) with water and chasing each other down for a splash? They are doomed to never grow up. Boys at heart they will always be.



With only four hours sleep....what can I manage to get off my to-do list tonight?

I hope everyone had a great weekend and is staying cool!


PS: Note to self: Wash some underwear or your morning tomorrow will be unpleasant. Don't let this happen again! (you can click for today's laugh)

THIS is what happens when....

THIS is what happens to my walls when I give Abbie Rae a bath and don't get her outdoors fast enough!

She rubs up and down all of the walls, the stove, the refrigerator, etc., leaving hair behind! More work!

Where's that bottle of wine?

EDIT: Geez! I just realized this is another Bathroom Babbles! What's up with me always blogging about my bathroom! And why did I feel the urge tonight to give my dog a bath just to see if it was easier to do with my new detatchable shower head spray?

God never promised this life would be easy for me. I need to look past daily troubles and onward to what He does promise me.

Romans 8:18 18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

I'm getting old...I just cannot handle it!

I decided today that I am getting too old. I used to be able to have a schedule and things to do that most people exclaimed that they did not see how I could do it. Well, the time has come. I cannot do it. I am totally stressed at the moment. I have so much to do over the next month that I am overwhelmed and I do not know where to start and I just sit and stare in stress and cannot make myself work.

So, I made a list today over my lunch hour. I am hopeful that the list will help me focus.

I used to have lists three times this big and think nothing of it. Where has that "me" gone? I want her back.

If I can just get through the next month, it should get better.

I need to take one task at a time.

I wonder if this list is complete? Did I remember it all?

What shall I make for dinner tonight? Oh, wait. Abbie Rae needs a bath first. She's scratching too much and I need to put more flea stuff on her just in case. Dinner? What's that? Oh, lunch was a sandwich in the car because I took too long writing this list. You'd think I'd loose weight. Not!

Focus. Focus. I am praying that God give me focus.

***************
To-Do List

1. June 14 reunion
Plan my potluck food and shop for it.
Build swings if possible.
Be prepared for company (clean house, more food?)
Remind boys to be there.

2. July 13th reunion
Part 1 – Do immediately
Type the invitation. Include RSVP Sheet for Sat. dinner, update submission form, book order form, housing form, nominations, donations
Mail 365 invitations, refund copy and mailing costs
Update address database with returned envelopes and submitted addresses
Type Minutes from 2006
Type -Treasurer Report (Do we owe money for book reimbursement?)
Consider activities

Part 2
Finish transferring 555 page website to new site before July 15 when old site disappears.
Search Rootsweb Social Security index for people who have passed away
Search online for lost people (returned mail)
Mail any books ordered (bring them up from basement for reunion)
Grave markers
Certificates
Name Tags
Signature sheets – add space for e-mail addresses
Table Decorations
Plan my food for the potluck
Type up Agenda
New Updates – Type up Handout, input into Family Tree Maker, input into book pages, update on Website)
Copy cemetery plots
Create and copy returned mail list

3. Baby Shower
Print out invitation, glue, address, and mail
Decorations
Games
Food/Cake
Buy my gift

4. What are we doing for Father’s Day? June 15th.

5. Friend’s Gathering on June 20th – Plan menu and purchase food. Check on air mattresses.

5. Senior High Gathering the weekend of June 27th. Check to see if registration was received (check cleared) as I have not received information on room assignments and such.

6. Mom’s wedding. Call hotel to book room. Set date to travel to St. Louis to shop for dresses.

7. Church website.
Finish building and make it active by June 16th.
Publicize it.
Invite members to write articles.
Invite members to post.
Take regular photos of building construction.

8. Vacation Bible School on June 22
Read and prepare for Bible Story for each of the grade levels
Make sure fake campfire works; room decorations; other props
Get volunteer to act out story

9. Genealogy sites. Complete the moving of the remaining three genealogy website to blogs before July 15th when the current hosting ends.

10. Catch up laundry

11. Grocery shop

12. Continue to record videos and prepare challenges for digital scrapbooking site. Catch up on gallery commenting. Schedule a chat.

13. Prepare for July 10th digital scrapbooking class. How many copies?

14. Shop for suit for senior school photos; consider second outfit and location; July 11th

15. Registration for 30 and 25 year class reunions? Is the calendar clear those dates?

16. Construction crew coming June 12th. Prepare for payment of services.

All Things New

I am not sure when I last enjoyed a shower so much! I decided that since I do not get too many luxeries in life, that I would go for the gusto and spend the extra $20 or $30 to get a grand shower head. Wow! Am I glad I did! This morning's shower was the best I have ever had!

I can turn on both or just one head. I was amazed at the water pressure I got with both heads on. So much just perfect warm water flowing everywhere. Ahhhh. God is good!

Psalm 96:1 Sing to the LORD a new song; sing to the LORD, all the earth.

Okay, I did not sing in the shower, but I sure did make some new noises of relaxation.

Today is a good day, readers! Enjoy it!

Bathroom Babbles Continues

I am always amazed at how my life seems to always come back to the bathroom! Are you ready for another edition of "Bathroom Babbles."

I just do not understand men. I'm not sure God intends me to, so I just have to learn how to be a better person through it all.

One of my favorite phrases is "Boys will be boys, and come to think of it, so will men!" It is SO true. It seems as if hubby is still a boy, especially when he changes his stories while talking to me as if he's in trouble and trying to say what he thinks will get him in the least trouble. Goodness, I'm his wife! Why not just tell me the truth!? I don't understand.

For several weeks we have been having trouble with our shower head not flowing well.

Last Wednesday night I indicated to hubby that since he was off on Friday, he could just put a baggie with vinegar in it on the shower head, secured with a rubber band (see photo here). I had done it one day and not five minutes later a son came along and needed a shower. So, it was hubbie's turn since he could do it later in the day when it could sit for a longer period of time.

OF COURSE, men NEVER listen to their wives. I am not sure why. Is it because if they did what their wives said to do, that would mean they are admitting she is right and they could never do that? The next day I go to get into the shower and the part at the bottom of the head was completely off. It was even a worse shower than I had had for the past weeks. I immediately knew hubby had taken it off so that he could soak it in vinegar rather than putting a baggie on it like I said. Yes, boys always try to do things the easiest way which always ends up the hardest way. Keep reading to see why.

THURSDAY
ME: Why did you break the shower head off?

HUBBIE: So that I could put it in a bowl of vinegar.

(catch that? He admitted breaking it)

ME: Well, then you will just have to go buy a new shower head on Friday when you are off then. Maybe we will finally have a good shower.

FRIDAY MORNING

ME: (as I stare at a shower head that appears normal, but I know it cannot be because it is unfixable, I turn on the water and it falls out) I see that you tried to fix this that you broke. I can see it is not fixable, you need to go get a new one today.

HUBBIE: I did not break it, it just fell out one day.

(catch that--his story changed--and I let him know it had changed)

FRIDAY OVER LUNCH DINNER DATE

ME: So, were you able to get to the store to get the new shower head yet?

HUBBIE: No, I fixed it. I just pushed it a little harder this time and it stayed.

ME: (yeah, right -- I'm shaking my head instead my head) Why did you do that? I told you it was not fixable and to just buy a new one? It is going to be me who stands in the shower and has the thing fall out on my head! I am going to end up having to take another shower under trickling water again tomorrow. I just know it!

HUBBIE: Then I'll buy a new one.

ME: (frustrated and not wanting to be controlling) Do whatever.

Pause.

ME: So, why did you tell me it was broke and then change your mind and tell me it just fell out?

HUBBIE: Well, I noticed it was loose and so I was turning it trying to screw it back in when it fell out. (okay, so maybe I got the partial truth finally, but my gut is still telling me that he was not trying to screw it back in, but that he noticed it looked loose so he thought it was probably the type that just unscrewed, so he tried to unscrew it and it broke off.)

FRIDAY AFTER WORK

ME: So, did you decide to go get a new shower head?

HUBBIE: No, it seems to be working fine.

SATURDAY MORNING

ME: (Being the third person in the shower as we are trying to rush to get out of town, I see the thing lying on the floor of the tub). Dear, see, I told you I would have to take yet another bad shower today! You need to go get a new shower head today!

HUBBIE: Okay.

SUNDAY NIGHT UPON RETURN FROM TRAVEL

ME: Did you get a new shower head? How much did it cost?

HUBBIE: Know, I just put it back in and pushed even harder this time. We have taken several showers and it is working better than ever before.

ME: (staying silent as I do not want to fight, but I am sure it is unfixable and doing my best to just not argue)



MONDAY MORNING

Here is a photo of my shower yet again on Monday morning. Hubbie is already gone for work, so there is no conversation.

I have resolved that I am just going to have to go out after work and get a new shower head myself and install it before he gets home. The only way to get it done right is to do it myself. He refused to listen to me because I cannot be right and he must be right. I DO NOT GET MEN!

Now look at that photo? I can quickly observe that the screw in the middle cannot be screwed into with the circular plastic piece in the forefront. There is no way at all to re-thread the piece. It is SO obvious to me. I checked to see if there was a way to pull it all out the other end so it could be threaded and there was not. It is something that was put on in a certain order during construction and he used his manly-men strength to take it off to make things easier so that he could throw it in a bowl of vinegar instead of putting a baggie of vinegar over it. Now I've gone through all this stress because he refuses to listen to his wife because he has to be the one that is right because he can never admit that I am right. It is a total insult to his manhood to admit that his wife is right about handyman things and that he does not have that gift.

How many times in our marriage are we going to have to go through this same struggle of me having a handyman gift and him not? Will it ever go away? I try so hard to be a good wife and be patient, but I feel like I spend my life fixing things he messes up. It's a constant trial that God gives me.

So,

....this makes me think about how many times God is probably this frustrated with me. How many times does God try to tell me things and I just won't listen to him because I think I'm right when I'm not? How many times does he have to just quietly shake his head and not say anything and allow me to learn on my own through trial and error because I refused to listen to him?


So, I decided to look in the Bible to see what God has to say to me about when I do not listen to Him. Ouch! This is hard to read!

****************
Proverbs 1: 22 - 33

"How long will you simple ones love your simple ways?
How long will mockers delight in mockery and fools hate knowledge?
If you had responded to my rebuke, I would have poured out my heart to you and made my thoughts known to you.
But since you rejected me when I called and no one gave heed when I stretched out my hand, since you ignored all my advice and would not accept my rebuke, I in turn will laugh at your disaster; I will mock when calamity overtakes you-when calamity overtakes you like a storm, when disaster sweeps over you like a whirlwind, when distress and trouble overwhelm you.
Then they will call to me but I will not answer; they will look for me but will not find me.
Since they hated knowledge and did not choose to fear the LORD, since they would not accept my advice and spurned my rebuke, they will eat the fruit of their ways and be filled with the fruit of their schemes.
For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them; but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm."

House Rule #8

This one actually worked! Anyone else have a problem with this?

*****
HOUSE RULE #8

If Mom finds the remote control anywhere but on the coffee table, then the all male inhabitants of this house will loose t.v. privileges for one week.


Record Enforcement here:

House Rule #7

I have been so busy I have forgotten to post more House Rules!
I hope you enjoy!

*************
HOUSE RULE #7

If Mom puts clean articles of clothing on your bed, they must be immediately put away in the appropriate place. If there is a basket of clean clothes at the end of the hallway, you must immediately find your clothes and put them away in the appropriate place. If this task is left incomplete, then an administering of one day of grounding to your room will occur.


Record Enforcement here:

So, I officially did it.

I want to thank everyone for their encouragement and words of advice during my recent struggles.

I did open the box last night and took it outside to start learning how to use it.

I am feeling a bit stressed this week as I am not getting any new content on my site while I am busy creating a new church website. You know how Lutherans are--they have lots of committees, with lots of discussing, re-discussing, hashing out, and voting, but nothing gets done. I am trying to just get it done and I need to do that as a sample site before the elders meet next week.

I have so many things going on and I cannot seem to get focused. Maybe I need a new list.


Here is the 4th photo I took last night with my new camera of the snapdragons I love so much. I love them because they were my Grandma's favorite flower.

A struggle with Myself

Does anyone else ever have internal struggles? Do you ever fight with yourself?

So, Julie reminded me that I should just pray about whether or not to keep the camera. Which put me on the right track that if I were to keep the camera, I should have a goal to use it for the Glory of God.

I do plan on using it for our church website that I am currently building.

I also have recently had an idea that came up through conversations to get a weekly Bible verse started. A family I know always printed out one verse per week and taped it up on the wall at their table. They read it before prayer and/or prayed about it.

I think it's a wonderful idea to do and have always wanted to do that, but just never have. So, I was already considering utilizing my digital scrapbooking skills to make something for everyone to print out weekly and post. If I used the camera to take photos and put the verse on them each week, that would make me feel better about getting the camera --maybe.

So, I come home on my lunch break and take the camera out of the blue plastic shopping bag. This is what I see.

I am stuck again.

Here I go again fighting with myself. It is a struggle.

I do want to mention how much I appreciate everyone allowing me to share my thoughts. I cannot tell you how many times I have grown as a person and learned more about myself through this process.

For instance, I just learned that I do not always turn to God first when I struggle internally. Julie gently reminded me that I needed to do that. I need to let God handle my struggles for me.


Romans 15:30 I urge you, brothers, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me.

Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

I did it, but did I?

Well, I did it. I was at Best Buy last night because I had just had it with Kaspersky messing up my computers and needed to purchase a new firewall and antivirus. I mozied on over to the printer inks and papers and picked up some new supplies for my layouts.

There, right between the the software and printer isles was the camera isle.

I did it. I couldn't resist any longer. I bought a camera. Now it sits on my dresser and I cannot even seem to open the box. It feels so wrong to have put it on my Best Buy card, even with two years free interest. I have longed for one for so long, but it just seems wrong.

I should be feeling happy about it, but I feel so unexcited.

Maybe I should just take it back. If I haven't opened it, I can easily take it back, right?

Maybe I should wait until this online site of mine pays for itself first, which was my initial intention. However, I continue to see these great photographs all over the digiland and the urge to get a better camera is pushed at me all the time! It is so hard to resist a temptation when you see it daily. I've resisted for two years now.

Should I take it back.

There it sits on my dresser.