Take a large wisk and fill it with Hershey Kisses. Wrap all in cello and tie with fancy ribbon. Make a cute little holiday gift tag that says: "We WISK you a Merry Christmas".
Take two AA batteries, put them in a box with a note saying "Gift not included"
Get a Christmas "bucket/pail/ box" and put two bags of microwave popcorn and two cans of soda nestled in shredded red/green paper and wrapped in cello. On at ag write, "Pop, pop, fizz, fizz, oh what a great friend (teacher, cousin, in-law, etc) you is!"
The home exerciser is a block of wood with this saying printed on paper glued to it. HOME EXERCISER 1. Place in middle of the floor 2. Walk around it two times3 . Rest, you've just walked around the block two times.
Unfinished furniture - A big box with the label "Unfinished furniture". Inside the box is a branch, leaves and all!.
Put some straw in a zip-loc bag and attach a tag that reads "Straw Hat -- Assembly Required"
Hillbilly Flashlight - a block of wood with one wooden kitchen match in the end of it.
Sawdust in a small zip lockbag. Labeled "Expert Jigsaw Puzzle."
Take pieces of straw and put in cellophane bags witha tootsie roll and a tag that says "roll in the hay."
Pet Dust Bunnies = Dryer lint in a bag with googleeyes.
The three step diet program = Three plastic forks, for 20-30 lbs weight loss, 1 has only one tine removed and numbered 1, for 30-50 lbs weight to lose, 2 has two tines removed and numbered 2, 50 lbs + has all tines removed and labeled number three, all three are putinto a bag together so they can diet in a 3 step program.
Fanny Floss = crochet thread or heavy cotton cording, label reads for those hard to reach areas.
Dodge, Ford, Chevy motor repair kit = duct tape and a rubber band in a baggie.
Emergency rope for when you're at the end of yours =small piece of rope in a baggie.
Over the hill instant face lift=a small roll of duct tape
Also, over the hill make-up brush=a cheap paint brush for painting walls.
Poor women's boob job--take 2 flesh or clear balloons and a straw and put on a topper that reads: Poor Women's Boob Job- Directions: insert balloon into bra pocket, insert straw into balloon and blow to desired size, add clipo r knot to prevent shifting of size or air escape. Repeat for other side. Caution: stay away from sharp objects and over squeezing!
Do-It-Yourself Ted.E.Bear = six small brown pompoms in a bag with the small google eyes
How about A melted snow man. Take a mason jar or some sort of clear jar and put water in it. Put in a carrot, a button and two small pieces of coal. Put a label on the jar that reads: Melted snow man.
Worry Wart. It is made out a nylon stocking. A roundball stuffed with cotton about 1 - 1 1/2 inches across and gathered at top and tied with small bit of ribbon. Two tiny eyes glued onto it. Poem attached: This worry wart will be your friend, And when your day is at it's end, Just relax, worry no more, Cuz that's what this little wart is for.
Fish Seeds
Put this topper on a little baggie of goldfishcrackers. It makes a cute little gag gift for thefishermen in your life.
It's known you like to fish alot, your line dropped in the water. But sometimes they aren't biting, so you can't catch what you oughter! When these times come, just grab this pack of ready-to-grow fish seed, then raise them til they fit the size your best "fish stories" need!
A great gift for those to who hate to cook. Photocopy a cookbook cover, you'll need two of them on glossy paper, or plain paper with clear adhesive paperover it. Fill it with paper and on the first page list all the phone numbers of the fast food restaurants in the area. "I made you this recipe book Just open it wide And you can decide to let someone else be the cook."
Washer & Dryer (*Wrap a dishcloth and dish towel in a large and pretty box with this note attached*)
This Christmas our ship has finally come in
We're feeling so wealthy and rich.
Instead of some small remembrance
This year will be quite a switch
We're giving a gift of high quality
No more cheap presents for us.
It's time we really went all out
But don't worry, its really no fuss.
We considered giving you a sports car
Or maybe a tropical cruise ---
But we decided to be more practical
And give something you really could use.
So, open the box and you may be surprised,
To find not only ONE gift, but two --
We hope you will put your presents to work
It's a WASHER & DRYER, too!!!!