What is life for but to constantly be growing closer to the Lord? It is through our trials that this often takes place.
I'm certain some in the digi-land are just waiting for me to post something on my blog about all the recent drama. At one point, I was inclined to do a post about the topic, but as the days passed, I decided not to, but rather decided to share some life application Bible verses that were brought to mind.
I know that there are many people that read my blog because they like that I am "transparent" in my thoughts and that they can relate to me. I tell you though, it gets harder and harder to allow myself to be transparent.
I think it is part of my genes which I inherited to have a strong desire to fight for what is right. Often, I slug things off and don't get involved in drama because to me, it doesn't really matter which side of the fence the egg drops off. I hate drama. However, there are times when issues are important to me and most often they are such because I have a conviction to always do what is right.
To me, not saying something just because I don't want to get into the middle of drama is actually a sin. To blanketedly encourage people to do something that would be breaking the law is wrong and to stand by and let that go on would have been wrong on my part.
I began digging up old posts on "
taking a stand" and praying to God to give me an answer. Why is it when I take a stand on something, people immediately start name calling and throwing sludge? Why is it that they feel a need to gang up on me? It's like there is a posse ready to attack me at any chance they get, not matter what it is that I say or how I say it. There is a name for people like this, but for the life of me, I cannot think up the name. I am guessing that's a good thing because if I did, I would be attacked as a "name caller." Sometimes God protects us through our lacking old feeble brains.
Then this verse came to mind and I began clinging on it.
James 4:17 Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.
Certainly it was right for me to encourage people to follow the world's law (of course, and God's law too). So, I kept trying to stay focused on facts while being bombarded with ugliness. I am actually thankful that many people did not see some of the things I saw happening. I wonder what things I did not see happen. I don't really want to know.
I was very appreciative of everyone who was supporting me and praying for me. God has truly sent some wonderful people my way. I was praising God that the people around me were not rushing to gang up with a counter attack. Sure, it would have been nice to have not been alone in discussions, but in the end, I was actually very thankful that the people I hang out with online are they way they are and able to read, let their jaws drop, and just pray, rather than lowering themselves to ugliness. These are the character of people I want to hang around with and God has brought them to this site.
Someone shared a Bible verse with me that changed my whole outlook and allowed me to grow closer to God. I am the type of person that often is strict with obedience, as stated above, always wanting to do what is right. Often, I get caught up in the literal obedience and forget to think outside the box. I am betting that there are plenty of other people out there just like me.
Sometimes it is good to change our focus and stop concentrating on taking a stand and trying to teach others and instead be concerned for ourselves. I felt I was sacrificing my reputation in the name of encouraging others to do what was right by allowing the personal attacks to continue in order to get my message out. I learned that God doesn't always want that for me and that sometimes I need to be selfish and guard myself from harm.
Matthew 7:6 Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.
When is it right to drop out of an unproductive discussion? When those you are conversing with turn on you with contempt and wrongfully tear your good character to pieces, God is surely not pleased.
This commentary refers to "sharing faith" and "we should be generous with the truth unless we encounter someone who shows utter contempt for the precious gift he is being offered." (credit quote to Gregory Koukl) I do understand that Matthew 7:6 is referencing sharing of faith directly, but I feel it also applies to my situation. I have heard this verse before, but I have never really understood what it means until now. Now I have a life application which helps me to better understand the verse.
I had a change of heart and began deleting my posts at DST to guard myself from these people ready to pounce on me for no good reason. I made some changes to the forum to make it more private.
Apparently, my recent forum changes were noticed by those stalking me ready to pounce on me and the Smurfs thread (regarding Mo) was brought up in response thereto. I tell you, I feel intimidated by the stalking, although sometimes it is good stalking, either way it feel just plan weird.
I remember first reading
this thread about Moland in January of 2007 and being shocked. There were people making up ID's just to be able to post negative comments about Mo. It was digi-drama at full roar. It is sad that this will forever be a part of digi-history. I never knew the entire story, but I will admit that I tried to join Mo's site and was never accepted. I was not on a CT and did not sell, so I am not sure why I was not accepted. I was trying to join at the time because I felt sorry for her and wanted to know the truth to the matter from her side also and get to meet her for who she really is. Her name is Mo Jackson and
her site is here. You don't see her advertising. You don't see her out in the digi world. Yet, her site is still there. I can't help but think she might have missed out on a friend in me simply due to the fear of the digi-drama.
I wonder when I read this story if she too was wrongfully treated and ganged up on as I feel I often am. Twice now in the digiworld, I have had what might be called a rebellion led against me. Is this what happened to Mo? Of course, I'm not saying it is because I know no facts, but I do wonder as I know that it happens in the digiworld as I've seen it happen more than once to several people.
Back when I was very active in a Yahoo Group as the owner, long before this website was even a dream of mine, a person began e-mailing everyone in the group encouraging them to leave the group. I know this to be true because some of the people who received the e-mail forwarded it to me to read. I remember sitting at my computer in shock. How could someone be so, so -- oh, there it goes again -- I cannot think of the right words to describe this behavior.
The issues stemmed from my trying to keep the group free of CT layouts and people not respecting my decision as group owner to do so and, therefore, in turn, began reacting in such a way that it really was mind-boggling for me. In addition, my gut feeling also says to me that the person who brought this uprising against me was also competitive in spirit against me. She had plans on opening up an educational site and, since I had been posting free written tutorials, thought my plans were the same. At the time, they were not. I was truly just wanting to help people because I enjoyed it.
I think this competitive spirit has existed all these years. I see it time and time again where it is posted "Hummie's World is great for learning, but" and then goes on to build up her own site. Then I am told "I always tell people about your site." Yet I never get anyone coming to my site saying that she sent them to me. Sure, she tells people about my site, but it is usually a preface to building up her own site. This is just not my style.
Many people tell me I do not charge enough for what my site offers, once they get into the depth of the site. I run into it time and again how people do not realize what my site has to offer. I think that is because I'm just not good at talking up myself and my site. I have too much fun finding great links and sending people everywhere else. That's why most people follow me around the Internet. They like what I share. But I guess I don't share enough about my own site because people just don't seem to know what is here. This is the way I would rather have it anyway.
I'm not here to make large amounts of money. I do confess sometimes I cannot help peeking to see how many subscribers there are, but most often, I try hard not to look at that at all. I am here to help anyone that comes along. I am often stuck on instant messenger helping complete strangers for absolutely nothing. I enjoy doing that.
Not too long after I opened the forum, another rebellion was brought against me for the very same exact reason! I had been continually tweaking the site trying to choose how to best handle CT layouts when it rubbed some people the wrong way and I sat here one night watching them PM people through the forum and then the next day the forum suddenly went dead. It was a few days later when I was following link backs to my site from other sites that I stumbled upon a forum that had been created by and for the people rebelling against me. PM's at my site were used to encourage people to leave my site and join the new forum.
So, amazingly enough, the very same thing happened to me twice, but in different ways.
These people who led the two rebellions against me were some of those involved in the recent digi-drama. I sometimes pray that other digital scrapbooking site owners do not have to suffer through what I went through with these people. Their character types are such that I fear it will happen again to other unsuspecting good people. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. I sometimes wish I could shout it out and warn others, but that would not be the right thing to do. So, all of this proof I have sits here in my folders. I sometimes think about deleting it as a way to heal my own hurts caused by these people, but somehow I cannot hit that delete button. My conscience won't let me. Even now I have not given names, but only share a few circumstances. I just cannot do that to anyone, even if they deserve it.
I should have the right as owner to make the rules regarding CT's. I know there are plenty of CT layouts posted in the gallery right now, and that is fine, but they are all posted without being shoved in our faces as many CT layouts in other places feel. They are posted just as the rest of the layouts; that being as part of the community and in doing the challenges. This I am fine with, but I do not want my site to be a site where CT layouts are dumped and the person never participates. I can really tell in what attitude CT layouts are posted when it is for marketing purposes only and that always rubs me the wrong way.
I remember Mo offering the first realistic box elements and everyone being upset that they could not purchase them. That's when other designers began offering them. Mo is infamous for choosing her customers and not allowing some people to purchase her products. There are some discussions in the DST thread regarding what went on before I became aware of the drama. For me, I don't know what to believe as I didn't see anything prior to this thread. Apparently she accused someone of copying her ideas and then someone else accused her of using something in her kit. There's probably truth to both, but there's probably inadvertent reasons for both also. Who was unreasonable in the arguments regarding those issues? Since I never read them, I have no idea. Was she unreasonably personally attacked as I feel attacked sometimes?
I applaud her for being bold enough to not be out commercially advertising her site and just enjoying the people that she enjoys being with. I wonder sometimes if this is the course I should also take. Sometimes I get the urge to close down my site to Subscribers only and never visit other scrapping sites, but then again, there are so many non-Subscribers that hang out at the site that I enjoy being with too.
I made some changes to the site during the last few days. Now only those that have posted once have access to view the challenges, chatter, and resource threads. I may make additional changes and only allow those who remain active to view that area of the forum. I'm not sure why it feels safer to me because in reality it is not much different than before. Anyone can register and have one approved post right now and it will look just like it did last week. I'm not really turning away people, but I am making them take action to be active before they are able to see all threads.
I know when I first started scrapping, Jessica Sprague's site was this way. She had a few threads that anyone could post in, but if you took a class, you could see everything. I've always wanted to see it, but never have.
I think about these sites that are set up more private sometimes and wonder if I should just put up shield and do the same thing.
Speaking of other education sites, I have always heard nothing but great things
Jessica Sprague and her classes and Linda at
Scrapper's Guide. I have always wanted to sign up for something at their sites, but purposefully stay away for the reason that I do not ever want to be accused of copying any of their great lessons. I would absolutely try out these classes if I were not in the position I am now. I would love to get to know these two ladies better, but they seem so distant and unreachable to me. By this I mean that they would never communicate with little 'ol me. I think it would be fun to plan an activity together with them, but somehow I feel that would never be. These two sites were in existence before I ever started digital scrapbooking and have stood the test of time.
I know I put something on my Facebook page recently about how Jessica had begun a store and that I was frustrated because I was getting too many e-mails trying to get me to go to her store. They were daily e-mails. I do not know if she read my post or not, but since that time the e-mails have reduced and I am grateful for that.
Renee Pearson is another one that I would love to get to know, but am afraid as an education site owner to approach. This lady is raw natural talent and is even well respected in the paper scrapbooking industry. Her site is so professional looking. I wish I had the time and money to create a site like hers.
ScrapGirls is also another leading site for digital scrapbooking lessons.
For me, personally, not only do I not attend these sites because I have a site of my own, but I simply cannot afford these classes. That is one reason why I keep my own site so inexpensive. I want as many people to be able to learn as possible. Even with my low price, I continually get people who tell me they just cannot afford it. There are many people on disability or unemployed or retired with fixed incomes that just want to learn this hobby. Sometimes I sit in wonderment that they cannot even afford $5.50, but then again reality of life hits me as to the impact of this truth. So, my site may not be as I would dream it could be all fancy, but it is here in hopes that it will reach more people. This often backfires on me as people think that since the site is so inexpensive, that it must not be worth that much. This is something I just cannot worry about.
Kayla Lamoreaux runs
Digiscrap 101 and I highly recommend her free site also. I sometimes see her as just like me in that she just wants to help people learn this hobby. What she has done for this community is bigger than some may realize.
I know that when I first started scrapping, many of us turned to the
written tutorials at Digital Scrapbook Place (DSP) and they are still a wonderful resource. The same applies to
Scrapbook-bytes free written tutorials and
Scrapbook-Elements.
Kristi Wood has "Classes by Kristi" and is, I believe, readying
Digiscrap Campus for opening. She has been around the digiworld for a while too and I am anxious to see what she will have to offer the community.
There are also lots of video tutorials on Youtube.
I even have a
link list to lots of sites with tutorials. I always have. I have always tried to link people up with good resources to learn. I think it needs updating though! I am betting that many of these are no longer good.
So, did you read this entire long post? It took me forever to write, so I doubt it.
Have my enemies read it and found something to use as amo against me? Have people read it and judged me as something or other. These are the dangers of me being so "transparent" as people keep telling me I am.
Is this professional? Probably not. You don't see the top educators blogging like this. But I think this is what makes my site unique from others and some people really do like me for who I am.
Most importantly though is that God loves me for who I am.
