Now that I have Lori on board and some of the duties transferred to her at the site, it is time for me to play catch up with all the loose ends all over my hard drive. I hope to be able to start blogging more again. I do feel that people are blessed by my blogging. I have heard many times that people are drawn to me because I am "transparent" on my blog and show the inner me that they can relate to. I've just been too busy to type too much on my blog.
I made this layout several weeks ago for a challenge for the
Survivor contest at GingerScraps.
I opened up a challenge thread in the forums for others to share their prayers for their children's future spouses
(here). So far, no one has taken me up on that challenge, but I did understand that there were people who wanted my background image so that they could utilize it in their own layouts.
So, I made the image into two backgrounds for download and would love to see what you do with it. I left the images in the full resolution with no compressions, so they are very large files to download.
You can download the background paper in both square and rectangle here. They will only be available for a limited time, but already available permanently in the Subscriber Area, as always.
I've been distraught the last few days over the contest at GingerScraps. Ginger has been outstanding and so good to put up with me, from being silly about cabana boys, to correcting and teaching about copyright violations.
The voting for this contest, like many others at other sites, has been by public vote. People can request anyone to vote for them. One must go through the effort to create an account and log in, which takes longer than just a few clicks, but not that long.
Ever since I first encountered a scrapping contest like this years ago, I have not been in favor of them. It just seems SO wrong because it turns the contest into a popularity contest.
Having been a "nobody" in high school and real life, and having experienced the following here on my blog, I feel I have a little bit of perspective from both ends, from being a "nobody" to being a "somebody," but more from the "nobody" end of the spectrum.
I had said I would not be asking anyone to vote for me and did not for the first few rounds. I just wanted to get through the rounds because of my scrapping, not because people like me.
However, the temptation to ask was strong. I could not fight it. It is so hard to not ask and just let yourself not pass a round when others are asking everyone they know. So, earlier this week, I asked in a few places for people to vote for me. I immediately felt bad.
Succumbing to the temptation turned me into a lier. There is nothing else that gets under my skin more than when people lie to me. It is sort of a pet peeve of mine. You can do all sorts of horrible things to me and I can take them in stride, but when you lie to me, my dander really gets up. I not only lied to others by saying I would not ask for votes, but I lied to myself.
What this shows is that everyone is a sinner. We cannot of our own accord resist all temptations. Not a single one of us. We all need Jesus to forgive our sins. We all need what He did for us on the cross, suffering and dieing, rising in victory, to take away the punishment for our sins. He did that for each and every one of us horrible sinners. All we have to do is believe in Him and what he did for us and we are forgiven. It's that easy.
It never ceases to amaze me how easy it is to be forgiven for this horrible person I am. Our religions make it SO complicated. We push people to think this or that. We push people to try to do good things. We push ourselves to try to understand better. But all that is ever needed is a little faith. All Jesus ever requires of us is to believe in what He did for us and all of our sins will be forgiven. Such a small thing to do, but such an amazing, awesome reward.
This week's challenge in the contest was to extract bugs, take a photo of ourselves, and put the bugs in our mouth (three photos, at least one of ourselves).
I was not going to do the challenge at first. I seriously only joined the competition to try to motivate myself to get to start scrapping again. I've been so busy that I've been unable to scrap for so long. I so far behind. Doing a challenge like this would in no way help me get done layouts I already had to do.
However, as always seems to be the case, my conscience got the best of me. I thought about how Ginger must feel having worked so hard to put together this contest, only to have people drop out because they didn't want to do a particular challenge for whatever reason. How discouraging for her that would be. How wrong it would feel to contribute to discouraging someone and making their heart downtrodden. How wrong to think only of myself and not others. I just couldn't do that, so I got to work thinking of a twist that I could take on the challenge to be able to make a layout that I wouldn't want to just trash later.
The above layout is my result of pushing myself to get out of my box and scrap. I'm glad I pushed myself as I do like the results and have a wonderful layout now.
However, I feel so bad for having asked people to vote for me. I know others are doing it, but that doesn't make it right for me to do it. I want to drop out of the contest. Lori reminded me that it may be the devil talking to me through my conscience, not liking that I am being a witness to God through my layout. I took that to heart as that could be very true and thought on it for a long while.
However, not only do I feel bad for lieing as indicated above, I also feel bad for being prideful. It feels so prideful to ask for votes. Now, I realize pride is not always bad. For instance, we are full of pride when our children do wonderful things, but that is pride for someone else, not ourselves.
2 Corinthians 7:4 I have great confidence in you; I take great pride in you. I am greatly encouraged;
I have found it is much harder to keep oneself in check when you are liked by more people than when you are a "nobody." There is a larger responsibility in keeping humble.
Galations 6:3- 5 If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.
Now, these verses in Galations are about doing good for others and helping to carry each other's burdens. You can read them in context here where it goes on to those beloved verses about reaping what we sow and doing things only to make a good impression. We can all relate to these verses and that is why they are so beloved. We all fall into the entrapment of these verses due to our human selves.
I was just drawn to the parts in this verse regarding "if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing." I've always considered myself a nothing. I never seem to fit in anywhere. I can just be in a room full of people and be there and not really be a part of the people in that room.
God tells me to test my own actions. Were my actions in asking for votes and knowing that I have a following in the digiworld at all prideful and thinking that I may be "something" when I know I am really "nothing?" God says in his word that I can "take pride in" myself "without comparing" myself to anyone else. I must only compare myself to what God would have my actions be, not what anyone else does.
What I can do may be far less or far more than someone else physically in carrying my own load and that of others, but it doesn't matter what others do, it only matters what I do. Even though these verses are about doing good, I can see that they relate to my situation and feel God speaking to me.
I feel so bad for thinking that I might be "something" enough to have people to vote for me to keep me in this contest.
I don't know why I ever join these contests. They always seem to cause me undo stress. They test my faith and make me grow.
So, maybe it is the devil wanting me to drop out of the contest or maybe it is God who is still tugging at my conscience causing me to write this long blog post that may be just what someone else needs to read. I do not know the answer.
Also, I feel bad for all those that took the effort to register and vote for me, only to have me say I don't want to go on. Did I deceive them? How wrong is this?
It doesn't matter how I look at it, I feel bad about every angle. How horrible to be on the winning end and still feel so bad. I cannot win any way. I'm hoping others will get the votes to pass me up as I've asked people to stop making the efforts for me.
I am, as always, wondering how many people actually read and took in each and every word of my ramblings. I'm not sure I would. I've not the patience to read this much and often skim over words.
Until next time, I am
sincerely,
Hummie
Great work, Sunni! I feel the site needed an upgraded look for a long time now as it has fallen behind the times, but what a great change this is! I totally love it!
Candy 
