A struggle with Myself
Does anyone else ever have internal struggles? Do you ever fight with yourself?
So, Julie reminded me that I should just pray about whether or not to keep the camera. Which put me on the right track that if I were to keep the camera, I should have a goal to use it for the Glory of God.
I do plan on using it for our church website that I am currently building.
I also have recently had an idea that came up through conversations to get a weekly Bible verse started. A family I know always printed out one verse per week and taped it up on the wall at their table. They read it before prayer and/or prayed about it.
I think it's a wonderful idea to do and have always wanted to do that, but just never have. So, I was already considering utilizing my digital scrapbooking skills to make something for everyone to print out weekly and post. If I used the camera to take photos and put the verse on them each week, that would make me feel better about getting the camera --maybe.
So, I come home on my lunch break and take the camera out of the blue plastic shopping bag. This is what I see.
I am stuck again.
Here I go again fighting with myself. It is a struggle.
I do want to mention how much I appreciate everyone allowing me to share my thoughts. I cannot tell you how many times I have grown as a person and learned more about myself through this process.
For instance, I just learned that I do not always turn to God first when I struggle internally. Julie gently reminded me that I needed to do that. I need to let God handle my struggles for me.
Romans 15:30 I urge you, brothers, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me.
Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
8 WARM FUZZIES--comments SO appreciated!:
Yeah, well, Julie needs to take her own advice, too. I had quite a list of things bugging me this morning, and it wasn't until just now that I realized I haven't included God in any of them. ::sigh:: Better late than never, right?
Julie is so wise! It will come to you, Hummie!
What a tough decision Hummie! I can't tell what kind of camera it is but it must be a good one. If it's out of your budget and you're not feeling excited about having it, then maybe you should take it back. Now seriously.... open the sucker and have fun. You deserve it!!! ;)
Hummie, what about all the good things you do for all of us in this community too. The camera will help you in that area too. I wish you could set aside the feelings that you somehow don't deserve it and realize just how much you do. We all need a little something special now and then . I was almost mad at my husband for spending so much on me at first when I got mine and I felt this sense of "I shouldn't have this, we can't afford it" at first too. But the more I used the camera and saw the results I could get and the pure enjoyment I got by using it, I realized it was worth it and that I deserved it. I hope you realize this too. How many times in your life have you passed by something that you wanted, or even NEEDED, and spent the money on your boys? I'd be willing to bet thousands! It's your turn Hummie. Your reward for all the times you sacrificed something you wanted in order to get something for your family instead.
Hummie....please, don't take it back!!! PLEASE...PLEASE, use this if nothing else as inspiration for more photography challenges...for yourself and others!!! As you learn, so will we. So not only can you teach about PSE but you can teach a little about SLR (I am assuming that is what you got, as I can't really see what kind exactly it is). Plus, if I know you, you will end up using it in other ways. Not just for personal use, but like you said for the church also. Heck, with your photography talent, who knows where it could take you. Can you tell I am trying to inspire you??? Hoping it's working. Sending Blessings to you as I know He will guide you in His way.
Hummie, I really want you to come to the decision that gives you the most peace. But, I pray that you find that treating yourself to something you can enjoy, something that will further your web business, and something that you can use to honor God has to be a good thing. Sometimes your unwillingness to be kind to yourself can be frustrating to those of us that have become your friends. I would love for you to like yourself at least as much as I like you. I like you plenty enough for you have that camera!
WOW! Chris said that so perfectly!
Hi, First I think that you do deserve this tool and that you will be utilizing it well even if you only take pictures of your family. Second, I think that you would need to make a payment plan that will fit into your budget. Maybe there is something else you are spending money on that you could alter to allow you to make these payments. If you do that then it seems you would not be violating your budget rules. Maybe you could join a co-op and lower your expenses on some regular purchases. Do you buy medications? Costco has the most reasonable prices and my sister in law lowered her expenses by doing that. You don't have to have a membership to fill prescriptions. Maybe a water filter would be cheaper than bottled water. Expensive cleaners can be replaced with vinegar and baking soda. If you look there is probably a way to align your financial ethics and your desire for the quality you deserve. Include your husband in this ethical dilemma and I'm sure you will find that restocking is not the answer. IMHO :)
Post a Comment