Showing newest 67 of 339 posts from 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007. Show older posts
Showing newest 67 of 339 posts from 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007. Show older posts

May 31, 2007

Make this Journey

If you don't keep walking you will never get where your going.

Don't wait for someone to stop and carry you, you may weigh them down and you both could fall.

When you think the walk is too steep, press on, for there is no mountain that can't be climbed.

When you see someone fall along the way, lend your hand. If someone lends you a hand, reach for it, to help you get back up again.

Hand in hand, together- each one helping the other can make this journey as precious as the place that we are all striving for.

Backwards Clothing

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and
noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way. The man, who was a priest, said, " I am a Father."

The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that."

The priest looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of many."

The boy said, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way."

The priest, getting impatient, said, "I am the Father of hundreds" and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar."

I Own the Fence

There was a large group of people. On one side of the group stood a man, Jesus. On the other side of the group stood Satan.

Separating them, running through the group, was a fence. The scene set, both Jesus and Satan began calling to the people in the group and, one by one - each having made up his or her own mind - each went to either Jesus or Satan.

This kept going. Soon enough, Jesus had gathered around him a group of people from the larger crowd, as did Satan.

But one man joined neither group. He climbed the fence that was there and sat on it.

Then Jesus and His people left and disappeared. So too did Satan and his people. And the man on the fence sat alone.

As this man sat, Satan came back, looking for something which he appeared to have lost. The man said, "Have you lost something?"

Satan looked straight at him and replied, "No, there you are. Come with me."

"But", said the man, "I sat on the fence. I chose neither you nor Him."

"That's okay," said Satan. "I own the fence."


Joshua 24:15 "And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

Twas the Night....Jesus Style

Twas the night before Christmas and in Beth'lem town,
All the inns were so crowded, Mary couldn't lie down.
The baby was coming, all willing and able!
And the only safe place to be born was a stable...
Some shepherds were sleeping on a hillside nearby,
While Mary was singing her first lullaby.
The lambs in their sheepfold, all wooly and white
Had just settled down on this clear, starry night.
When an angel appeared right there where they laid!
While they rose up in fright, he said, "Be not afraid."
The Lord's glory shone as the angel did say,
"Good news I bring to you all on this day.
A savior in Beth'lem is now born for you.
He lies in a manger; swaddling cloths are the clue."
When what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a sky filled with angels, singing loudly and clear!
God's glory they chanted, for all they were worth,
And peace among all whom God favors on earth!
More rapid than eagles they all disappeared,
A shepherd then shouted to all who would hear,
"Now Levi! Now Reuben! Now Isaac and Jacob!
On Eli! On Matthew! On Simon and Caleb!
To the stable in town, to the manger of hay,
Let's go quickly and see where the Christ child does stay!"
The shepherds could hardly believe what they saw:
Jesus lying in the manger asleep in the straw.
So, down to their knees all the shepherds then sank,
With their hearts full of wonder, their God they did thank.
And then in a twinkling to Joseph and Mary,
The words of the angels, the shepherds did carry.
As they drew in their breath, their heads spinning ‘round,
The shepherds departed with nary a sound.
Mary pondered these words in the depths of her heart;
She ne'er would forget how the shepherds took part.
A bundle of joy, Mary thought of her child.
And he looked like a pure lamb, so gentle and mild.
His eyes full of wisdom, even though just a baby.
"My Jesus, a Savior?" She wondered. "Well, maybe."
His soft little face seemed to glow with a smile,
So their troublesome journey now, too, seemed worthwhile.
Soon after came wise men from places afar.
Many days had they traveled to follow a star.
They looked for a king who would rule over all,
After speaking with Herod - the worst choice of all.
Herod plotted and planned - a right nasty old king -
He tried to kill Jesus, and end this whole thing!
The Magi came in and they kneeled at Christ's bed,
And gave him three gifts. And then, thinking ahead,
They took a new road on their long journey home.
And Jesus and family to Egypt did roam.
Much later, he laid down his life for our souls,
Forgiving our sins, Jesus Christ made us whole.
He rose from the dead, to his friends gave a mission.
And we are now given new life with a vision!
So let us exclaim on this most holy night,
"Merry Christmas to all! Jesus Christ is the light!"

By Penny Rahm, Wilkes-Barre, PA

Celebrate the 12 Days of Christmas

By Tom Neven

Who needs 10 lords-a-leaping for Christmas...or two turtle doves. Here’s an updated list.

1. On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a zipper:

It is usually wiser to keep your lip zipped than to compound a problem. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19)

2. On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a calculator:

This is a special calculator, with the cancel key prominently placed in the center of the pad, conveniently twice the size of all the other keys so it is easy to cancel accounts instead of keeping score. Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5).

3. On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a duffel bag:

This model has two handles, one on each side so the load is lighter for both of us. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2).

4. On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a ballerina doll:

Nothing epitomizes grace and balance like a ballerina, and a good wife even more so. A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies….She is clothed with strength and dignity (Proverbs 31:10,25).

5. On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a shovel:

This is a Smokey Bear shovel so we can put out sparks before they become raging fires. In your anger do no sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold (Ephesians 4:26-27).

6. On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a pocket watch:

This timepiece is carried in a breast pocket, close to the heart, so we can remember to give each other time to grow. It was he who gave...to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be build up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ (Ephesians 4:11-13).

7. On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a Monopoly game:

You can own houses on every street, but you’re still poor without a good wife. Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord (Proverbs 19:14).


8. On the eight day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a candle and sealing wax.

Do not neglect to keep the fires burning or to seal your love for each other. Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame (Song of Songs 8:6).

9. On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me some super glue:

Tearing apart two things joined by super glue results in damage to both. So they are no loner two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate (Matthew 19:6).

10. On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a spice jar:

That way, we can season our words with grace, encouragement, and love. Do not let any unwholesome take come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29).

11. On the 11th day of Christmas my true love gave to me a washcloth:

This cloth has God’s Word embroidered on it. Husbands, love your wives, just a Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word (Ephesians 5:25-26).

12. On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a turtledove:

Well, maybe they were on to something when they wrote the original version. How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves (Song of Songs 1:15).

Close to God's Heart

We're close to God's heart when the things that grieve God grieve us and the things that please God please us.

Sandbox Rock

A little boy was spending his Saturday morning playing in his sandbox.

He had with him his box of cars and trucks, his plastic pail, and a shiny, red plastic shovel. In the process of creating roads and tunnels in the soft sand, he discovered a large rock in the middle
of the sandbox. The lad dug around the rock, managing to dislodge
it from the dirt. With no little bit of struggle, he pushed and nudged the rock across the sandbox by using his feet. (He was a very small boy and the rock was very huge.)

When the boy got the rock to the edge of the sandbox,however, he found that he couldn't roll it up and over the little wall.
Determined, the little boy shoved, pushed, and pried, but every time he thought he had made some progress, the rock tipped and then fell back into the sandbox.
The little boy grunted, struggled, pushed, shoved -- but his only reward was to have the rock roll back, smashing his chubby fingers. Finally he burst into tears of frustration.

All this time the boy's father watched from his living room
window as the drama unfolded. At the moment the tears fell, a large shadow fell across the boy and the sandbox. It was the boy's father.
Gently but firmly he said, "Son, why didn't you use all the strength that you had available?"

Defeated, the boy sobbed back, "But I did, Daddy, I did! I
used all the strength that I had!"

"No, son," corrected the father kindly. "You didn't use all the strength you had. You didn't ask me."

With that the father reached down, picked up the rock, and
removed it from the sandbox.

Do you have "rocks" in your life that need to be removed?
Are you discovering that you don't have what it takes to lift them?

There is One who is always available to us and willing to give us the strength we need. When the apostle Paul faced times of a broken spirit and sapped strength, he proclaimed to the Corinthian church, "My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, then my power is made perfect in you" (2 Corinthians 12:9b NCV). When we are broken in spirit and our strength is spent, we can turn to our Savior Jesus.

What You Will Be

As I gazed up at the mountains, I was awed by their majesty;
I bowed my head and asked myself, "Why should He care for me?
I am not great like the mountains that tower so high above,
What is there about me that God can find to love?"

"Father, I am not strong like the wind that makes your tall trees sway,
I cannot sing sweetly like your birds; will you love me anyway?
But most of all, I am simply me, and often have cause to fear,
In spite of all my weaknesses, do you promise to be near?"

With eyes closed tight against my tears, I wished He could hear me pray.
Then I felt His Spirit tell me, "Child, look up, I have something to say.
"You are simply you, the spirit I love, a part of my great plan.
I put you here to learn of life and to return to me again."

"You are more beautiful to me than the loveliest mountain I made,
And your strength exceeds that of the wind's, so do not be afraid.
I love you not for what you are, but for what I know you will be.
I am always beside you watching you grow, you are very special to me."

A smile touched my lips - I knew it was true, my Father had always been there
Giving me comfort and blessings and love and my own special talents to share.
So I do my best to make Him proud. I am not afraid, for you see,
He loves me not for what I am, but for what He knows I will be.

Last Glimpse of Pagesofstufftoshare


I have finally finished moving over all of the posts from the old website. It is sade to see it go after 6 1/2 years. At one time the counter was over 50,000, but then something happened and the counter was restarted and I could not reset it. With this new avenue of a blog and RSS, I am hopeful that the readership will return so that these collections may continue to bless people.

I still have many posts to move over from the archives of the Yahoo Group before I will delete the group.

I have moved over 314 writings from the old website and the group archives. How many more are there to come?

As I publish this post, the website is being officially deleted. A sad moment for me.

It is full!

A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trapdoor and announce, "I descend into hell!" A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would plunge through. The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend. One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is full!"

The Pilot

Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.

"I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said.

"But who's the fourth person?"

"Oh, that's Pontius-the Pilot.

How many Women can a Man Marry?

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen," the boy responded.

His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly. "How do you know that?"

"Easy," the little boy said.

"All you have to do is add it up, like the preacher said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

Anything Breakable?

There was a gracious lady mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk. "Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.

A Miracle!

One Sunday morning a priest and an altar boy were getting the church ready for mass. The minister prepared his sermon while the altar boy filled the holy water fountain.

Suddenly, the altar boy burst into the minister's room and yelled, "Father, Father, I just saw the most amazing thing! I filled the holy water fountain. Then a man came in on crutches. He moved to the fountain, dipped his left hand in the holy water, blessed himself and threw away his left crutch. Then he dipped his right hand in the holy water,blessed himself and threw away his right crutch. Then he turned to me ... and he took a step forward"!

The minister was awe struck by what he just heard. "My boy, he said, you just witnessed a miracle from God! Where's this man now?"

The altar boy replies...

"flat on his face in front of the holy water fountain"!

Quips and Answers

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
A. Ruthless

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. What was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.

David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.

Five Most Constipated Men in the Old Testament

1) Cain wasn't Abel.

2) Moses went up onto the mountain and took two tablets.

3) King David sat on the throne for forty years.

4) Solomon - neither heaven nor Earth could move him.

5) Noah was at sea for forty days and forty nights and all he passed was water.

May 30, 2007

Themed Thursdays -Bath



This week's theme is "bath." The theme starts today and runs for one week, but you can add your link at any time.

Upload your layout to any gallery or blog and add the link to where you post your layout to Mr. Linky (in the box below) for this week's theme. It may be a layout you already have or a new layout.

Take time to visit and comment on others. It will be fun to see how everyone interprets this word and all the quotes that are possible.











Here is my layout! I did not have any bath photos, so this challenge inspired me to drag out the old photo albums and get another page done!

I used Microferk Designs (Creekwalk kit) and (Down By the Seashore Elements) for this layout. I found the bar of soap in my freebie stash labeled "soap," so I do not know who to give credit to for that cute item. Sketch from Pagemaps.


I made the bubbles myself, very quickly, but since I made them, I thought I would share them. You can download them at this folder. Please be sure to read my download instructions if you have never downloaded from Fotki before.






I found a cute Shel Silverstein poem that is on the layout:

There's too many kids in this tub
There's too many elbows to scrub
I just washed a behind that I'm sure wasn't mine
There's too many kids in this tub.




A Christian's Way to Reduce Stress

An Angel says, "Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice."

1. Pray

2. Go to bed on time.

3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.

4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.

5. Delegate tasks to capable others.

6. Simplify and unclutter your life.

7. Less is more.. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)

8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.

9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.

10. Take one day at a time.

11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.

12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.

13 . Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.

14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.

15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.

16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.

17. Get enough rest.

18. Eat right.

19. Get organized so everything has its place.

20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.

21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.

22. Every day, find time to be alone.

23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot.. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.

24. Make friends with Godly people.

25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.

26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good "Thank you Jesus."

27. Laugh.

28. Laugh some more!

29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.

30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).

31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).

32. Sit on your ego.

33. Talk less; listen more.

34. Slow down.

35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.

36 . Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)

The Gospel Tree

There once was a shining Christmas tree
Standing out where all could see.
Its brilliance captured every eye
And seemed to cheer each passer by.

"The lights are so bright," they would say
And hesitate to walk away.
The tree stood proud ablaze with light
For every light was burning bright.

Then one bulb was heard to say
"I’m tired of burning night and day;
I think I’ll just go out and take a rest
For I’m too tired to do my best;

Besides I am so very small
I doubt if I’d be missed at all."
Then a child lovingly touched the light,
"Look, mother, this one shines so very bright.

I think of all the lights upon the tree
This one looks the best to me."
"Oh my goodness," said the light
"I almost dimmed right out of sight.

I thought perhaps no one would care
If I failed to shine my share."
With that a glorious brilliance came
For every light had felt the same.

Our Gospel, like this Christmas tree,
With little lights which are you and me,
We each have a space that we must fill
With love, and lessons and good will.

Let’s keep our tree ablaze with light,
With testimonies burning bright.
For our Gospel is a living tree
That lights the way to eternity.

The ABC's of Christmas

A
Is for Angels
With halos so bright,
Whose carols were heard
On that first Christmas Night.


B
Is for Bells
So merrily ringing,
Joy to the world
Is the message they're bringing.


C
Is for Candles
That so brightly shine,
To give a warm welcome
To your friends and mine.


D
Is for Doorway
With garlands of green,
To make Christmas merry
As far as they're seen.


E
Is for Evergreens
With fragrance so rare,
So plentiful at Christmas
Their scent fills the air.


F
Is for Fun
The whole season long,
From trimming the tree
To singing a song.

G
Is for Greetings
A merry "hello",
With a heart full of love
For people we know.

H
Is for Holly
With berries so red,
To make into wreaths
To hang overhead.

I
Is for Ice
On snow covered hills,
Where sledding is fun
Along with the spills.

J
Is for Jesus
The Christ child so dear,
We honor his birth
On Christmas each year.

K
Is for Kris Kringle
So merrily he stands,
He is who they call Santa
In so many lands.

L
Is for Lanterns
I am sure that their light,
Helped Mary and Joseph
That first Christmas night.

M
Is for Mary
Her heart full of love,
For her little son Jesus
Who came from above.

N
Is for Noel
The angels did sing,
To herald the birth
Of Jesus, our King.

O
Is for Ornaments
So shining and bright,
With lights on the tree
To sparkle at night.

P
Is for Packages
With ribbons so gay,
All 'round the tree
For our Christmas day.

Q
Is for Quiet
Christmas Eve Night,
With snow covered hills,
Glistening so bright.

R
Is for Reindeer
Who pull Santa's sleigh,
To your house, to my house
They know the way.

S
Is for Shepards
Who first saw the star,
Over Bethlehem's manger,
And followed it far.

T
Is for Trees
We decorate so gay,
Then wait for ole Santa,
To hurry our way.

U
Is for Universe
Where Christmas brings joy,
To all in the world,
To each girl and boy.

V
Is for Visiting
Friends near and far,
We travel by plane,
Or by bus, or by car.

W
Is for Wise Men
Who brought gifts so rare,
And knelt down and worshiped,
The child they found there.

X
Is for X-mas
Or Christmas by full name,
No matter the language,
It all means the same.

Y
Is for Yule logs
Whose bright sparks fly high,
To give a warm welcome,
To friends passing by.

Z
Is for Zeal
We show at this time,
In giving to others,
And all mankind.

Drink, Steal, Swear, & Lie (Four Rules to Live By)

I met this guy while I was in Albuquerque and he has a
motto he lives by everyday. He said listen carefully and live by these 4
rules: Drink, Steal, Swear, & Lie. I was shaking my head 'no', but he
then told me to listen while he explained his four rules. So here they are:

1.. "Drink" from the "everlasting cup" every day.
2.. "Steal" a moment to help someone that is in worse shape than you
are.
3.. "Swear" that you will be a better person today than yesterday.
4.. And last, but not least, when you "lie" down at night, thank God
you live in America and have freedom.

I am not as good as I should be; I am not as good as I could be; but THANK
GOD, I am better than I used to be.

The importance of having your email addresses correct!

It seems there was this couple from Minneapolis, Minnesota, who decided to go to Florida for a few days to thaw out during one particularly cold winter. Since both spouses worked, they had difficulty coordinating their schedules, so the decision was made to have the husband leave for Florida on a certain day, with the wife following him one day later. The man made it down to Florida and arrived at his hotel. Upon getting to his room, he decided to open his laptop and send his wife back in Minneapolis an email. However, he left off one letter in typing his wife's email address and sent the email off without realizing his error.

In another part of the country, a widow had just returned from the funeral of her husband, a Methodist pastor of many years, who had been called to glory just a few days earlier. She decided to check her email because she was expecting to hear from her husband's relatives and friends. Upon reading the first email, she let out a loud scream, fainted and fell to the floor. The woman's son rushed into the room and found his mother on the floor. He glanced up at the computer screen and saw the following email message: To My Loving Wife: I've just been checked in. Everything has been prepared for your arrival here tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. P.S. Sure is hot down here."

Evolution

I was at the zoo the other day, and walked by the ape

cage, and I saw an ape sitting there with two books opened

up in front of him.

One was the Bible, and the other was The Origin Of Species by Charles Darwin.

I said to the ape "you can read?"

He said "yes, but I'm having trouble understanding what I'm reading,I can't figure out if I am my brothers keeper or my keepers brother.

Tri...

There was a three-generation household in which James, Sr., was living with his son, James, Jr., and grandson James III. (There were others in the home as well, of course, and you may embellish ad lib).

One day the phone rang, and the caller asked to speak to Jim. The one answering the phone responded, "Do you want Jim the father, Jim the son, or Jim the holy terror?"

A Dual

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally, God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test which will take two hours, and I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.

They did spreadsheets.

They wrote reports.

They sent faxes.

They sent e-mail.

They sent out e-mail with attachments.

They downloaded.

They did some genealogy reports.

They made cards.

They did every known job. But, ten minutes before the time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed in every curse word known in the underworld. ?#!**\##!

Jesus just sighed.

The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers.

Satan started searching frantically, screaming, "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became even more irate.

"Wait! He cheated! How did he do it??!!"

(You'll love the punch line...)

**

**

**

**

**

God shrugged and said, "Jesus Saves"...

Bless this Food

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air then opened its mouth to swallow both. As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!" At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place and, as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds. "I thought you didn't believe in Me!" "Come on God, give me a break!," the man pleaded. "Two minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!" Then the Atheist continues, "God, please let the Loch Ness Monster become religious." God replies, "So be it." The scene starts up, atheist falling. The Loch Ness Monster folds his claws together and says, "Lord, bless this food you have so graciously provided...."

Ten Inches of Water

A boy was sitting on a park bench with one hand resting on an open Bible. He was loudly exclaiming his praise to God. "Hallelujah! Hallelujah! God is great!" he yelled without worrying whether anyone heard him or not.

Shortly after, along came a man who had recently completed some studies at a local university. Feeling himself very enlightened in the ways of truth and very eager to show this enlightenment, he asked the boy about the source of his joy. "Hey" asked the boy in return with a bright laugh, "Don't you have any idea what God is able to do? I just read that God opened up the waves of the Red Sea and led the whole nation of Israel right through the middle." The enlightened man laughed lightly, sat down next to the boy and began to try to open his eyes to the "realities" of the miracles of the Bible. "That can all be very easily explained. Modern scholarship has shown that the Red Sea in that area was only 10-inches deep at that time. It was no problem for the Israelites to wade across." The boy was stumped. His eyes wandered from the man back to the Bible laying open in his lap. The man, content that he had enlightened a poor, naive young person to the finer points of scientific insight, turned to go. Scarcely had he taken two steps when the boy began to rejoice and praise louder than before. The man turned to ask the reason for this resumed jubilation. "Wow!" exclaimed the boy happily, "God is greater than I thought! Not only did He lead the whole nation of Israel through the Red Sea, He topped it off by drowning the whole Egyptian army in 10 inches of water!"

A Few Hymns for Those who Speed on the Highway

45 mph

...God Will Take Care of You

55 mph

...Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah


65 mph

...Nearer My God to Thee


75 mph

...Nearer Still Nearer


85 mph

...This World Is Not My Home


95 mph

...Lord, I'm Coming Home


and over 100 mph

...Precious Memories

Favorite Hymns

The Dentist's Hymn

...Crown Him With Many Crowns

Cardiologist

...Create in Me a Clean Heart


The Weatherman's Hymn

...There shall be showers of Blessing


The Contractor's Hymn

...The Church's One Foundation


The Tailor's Hymn

...Holy, Holy, Holy


The Golfer's Hymn

...There is A Green Hill Far Away


The Politician's Hymn

...Standing on the Promises


The Optometrist's Hymn

...Open My Eyes That I might See


The IRS Agent's Hymn

...I Surrender All


The Gossip's Hymn

....Pass It On


The Electrician's Hymn

...Send the Light


The Shopper's Hymn

...Sweet By and By


Teacher in June

...Go My Children with my Blessing


Dieters

...You Satisfy the Hungry Heart

Canine Letters to God

Dear God,

Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God,

How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?

Dear God,

When my family eats dinner they always bless their food. But they never bless mine. So... I've been wagging my tail extra fast when they fill my bowl. Have you noticed my own blessing?

Dear God,

When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

Dear God,

Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!

Dear God,

If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God,

More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God,

When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God,

Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street!

Dear God,

Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it that thing about carpets again?

Dear God,

The new terrier I live with just peed on the Oriental rug and I have a feeling my family might blame me 'cuz they think I'm jealous of this stupid dog. Since they have no sense of smell, how can I convince them I'm innocent?

Sincerely,

the Dog

High and Low

A man met a friend of his on the street one morning and hailed him with, "Say, have you seen Frank lately? I've been looking high and low for him." "Well," said the friend, "those are the places to look. He died in January."

Teens & Long Hair

There was a young guy who was going to be turning 16 years old. He reminded his father that he was promised a car when he turned 16. The father told the son, he would buy him a car if you bring your grades up, start studying the bible , and get that long hair cut! So the son turns 16, comes to his dad and shows him his report card-all A's. His father was pleased, he then says to his dad, ask me anything about the bible. The father quizzes him and he gets all the answers correct. Then the boy's father asked why he hadn't gotten his hair cut. He told his Dad that everyone had long hair in the bible, even JESUS, and the father replied "Yes you're right, and they also WALKED everywhere !!!!!"

Golf in Heaven

Moses, Jesus and some 'ol geezer were going to play a round of golf.

Moses teed off, the ball went right into the pond. "No problem!" he said. Moses walked over, parted the water, and hit the ball again.

This time it landed about one foot from the hole.

Jesus then teed off and the ball went flying off to the left, hit a tree, then miraculously bounced within about six inches of the hole.

The 'ol geezer stepped up and teed off. As the ball headed right for the pond, a huge bass jumped up and grabbed the ball in its mouth. Suddenly an eagle swooped down, grabbed the bass and flew over the green. The bass dropped the ball and it rolled within two inches of the hole! All of the sudden, a worm popped up and knocked the ball in. A hole in one.

Moses looked at Jesus and said, "You know, I really hate it when your dad plays."

Pain in my side

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, Johnny what is the matter? Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

How to Treat Brothers and Sisters

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."

God Knew Our Greatest Need

If our greatest need
had been information,
God would have sent us an educator.

If our greatest need
had been technology,
God would have sent us a scientist.

If our greatest need
had been money,
God would have sent us an economist.

If our greatest need
had been pleasure,
God would have sent us an entertainer.

But our greatest need
was forgiveness,
so God sent us a Saviour.

Teach the Children

Late one Christmas Eve, I sank back, tired but content, into my easy chair. The kids were in bed, the gifts were wrapped, the milk and cookies waited by the fireplace for Santa.

As I sat back admiring the tree with its decorations, I couldn't help feeling that something important was missing. It wasn't long before the tiny, twinkling tree lights lulled me to sleep. I don't know how long I slept, but all of a sudden I knew that I wasn't alone. I opened my eyes, and you can imagine my surprise when I saw Santa Claus himself standing next to my Christmas tree.

He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot just as poem described him, but he was not the "jolly old elf" of Christmas legend. The man who stood before me looked sad and disappointed. And there were tears in his eyes.

"Santa, what's wrong?" I asked. "Why are you crying?"

"It's the children." Santa replied sadly.

"But Santa, the children love you." I said.

"Oh, I know they love me, and they love the gifts I bring them," Santa said, "but the children of today seem to have somehow missed out on the true spirit of Christmas. It's not their fault. It's just that the adults, many of them not having been taught themselves, have forgotten to teach the children."

"Teach them what?" I asked.

Santa's kind old face became soft, more gentle. His eyes began to shine with something more than tears. He spoke softly.

"Teach the children the true meaning of Christmas. Teach them that the part of Christmas we can see, hear, and touch is much more than meets the eye. Teach them the symbolism behind the customs and traditions of Christmas which we now observe. Teach them what it is they truly represent."

Santa reached into his bag and pulled out a tiny Christmas tree and set it on my mantle. "Teach them about the Christmas tree. Green is the second color of Christmas. The stately evergreen, with it's unchanging color, represents the hope of eternal life in Jesus. It's needles point heavenward as a reminder that man's thoughts should turn heavenward as well."

Santa reached into his bag again and pulled out a shiny star and placed it at the top of the small tree. "The star was the heavenly sign of promise. God promised a Savior for the world and the star was the sign of the fulfillment of that promise on the night that Jesus Christ was born. Teach the children that God always fulfills his promises, and that wise men still seek Him."

"Red," said Santa, "is the first color of Christmas." He pulled forth a red ornament for the tiny tree. "Red is deep, intense, vivid. It is the color of the life-giving blood that flows through our veins. It is the symbol of God's greatest gift. Teach the children that Christ gave his life and shed his blood for them that they might have eternal life. When they see the color red it should remind them of that most wonderful gift."

Santa found a silver bell in his pack and placed it on the tree. "Just as lost sheep are guided, to safety by the sound of the bell, it continues to ring today for all to be guided to the fold. Teach the children to follow the true Shepherd, who gave His life for the sheep."

Santa placed a candle on the mantle and lit it. The soft glow from its one tiny flame brightened the room. "The glow of the candle represents how man can show his thanks for the gift of God's son that Christmas Eve long ago. Teach the children to follow in Christ's footsteps. To go about doing good. Teach them to let their light so shine before men that all may see it and glorify God. This is what is symbolized when the twinkle lights shine on the tree like hundreds of bright, shining candles, each of them representing one of God's precious children, their light shining for all to see."

Again Santa reached into his bag and this time he brought forth a tiny red and white striped cane. As he hung it on the tree he spoke softly. "The candy cane is a stick of hard white candy. White to symbolize the virgin birth and sinless nature of Jesus, and hard to symbolize the Solid Rock, the foundation of the church, and the firmness of God's promises. The candy cane is in the form of a "J" to represent the precious name of Jesus, who came to earth as our Savior. It also represents the crook of the Good Shepherd, which He uses to reach down into the ditches of the world to lift out the fallen lambs who, like all sheep, have gone astray. The original candy cane had three small red stripes, which are the stripes of the scourging Jesus received by which we are healed, and a large red stripe that represents the shed blood of Jesus, so that we can have the promise of eternal life. Teach these things to the children."

Santa brought out a beautiful wreath made of fresh, fragrant greenery and tied with a bright red bow. "The bow reminds us of the bond of perfection, which is love." "The wreath embodies all the good things about Christmas for those with eyes to see and hearts to understand. It contains the colors of red and green and the heaven-turned needles of the evergreen. The bow tells the story of good will towards all and its color reminds us of Christ's sacrifice. Even its very shape is symbolic, representing eternity and the eternal nature of Christ's love. It is a circle, without beginning and without end. These are the things you must teach the children."

"But where does that leave you Santa?" I asked. The tears gone now from his eyes, a smile broke over Santa's face.

"Why bless you, my dear," he laughed, "I'm only a symbol myself. I represent the spirit of family fun and the joy of giving and receiving.

If the children are taught these other things there is no danger that I'll ever be forgotten."

"I think I'm beginning to understand at last." I replied.

"That's why I came," said Santa. "You're an adult. If you don't teach the children these things, then who will?"

The Innkeeper's Tale

They think I'm some kind of cruel, heartless landlord. Someone must have told them that. But they're wrong, just plain wrong, and it's time to set the record straight, once and for all.

People say I'm an innkeeper. I suppose you'd call it an inn. To us it's just a big house. My grandfather, Joshua ben-Yahoudi, built it back when his trading business was at a peak. And he built it big enough to fit all fourteen kids.

Well, a few years ago, the missus and I were just rattling around in that big house--kids grown up and all--and we were thinking, maybe we could take in a few travelers. Rachel has always been mighty good in the kitchen, so we just let out word that we'd take people in, and they started to come. Every night we'd have a person or two, sometimes more. People would always come back when they came to town again, intent on another bowl of Rachel's lamb stew.

Then came that blankety-blank census the governor thought up. Taxation, pure and simple! People from all over the province flooded into town that week. Filled us clean up. Rachel and I slept in the main room where we always do, and we started putting guests in the other three rooms. They kept coming. Then we doubled up two or three families to a room. They kept coming. Finally, when we had filled the main room with four families plus Rachel and me, we started turning people away.

I must have gotten in and out of bed ten times that night, stumbling over bodies to get to the door. "No more room, sorry folks. No more room. Come back in the morning. We have a couple of families leaving then." They'd mutter something and head back to their party, and sleep somewhere next to a house under the shelter of a blanket. I just couldn't make any more room. That's the honest truth.

But I did make room for one more couple. Joseph was a burly man with big arms and strong hands, down from Nazareth, I think he said. He wouldn't take "no" for an answer. I would say, "No, I'm sorry," and he'd tell my about his "little Mary." Well, when I saw "little Mary" she wasn't very little. She was just about as pregnant as a woman can get, and awfully pale. While Joseph was pleading, I saw her grab her tummy in pain, and I knew I couldn't let her have that baby outside in the wind and sleet.

The barn. That would just have to do, I told myself, and led them and their donkey out back. Now it was pretty crowded, so I shooed several animals into the pen outside to make room in one dry corner. Joseph said, "We sure are grateful, sir." Then with a serious look, he asked me, "Do you know where I can find a midwife in these parts? We might need her tomorrow or the next day."

That man didn't know much about having babies, it was plain enough to see. I ran to Aunt Sarah's house and pounded on the door until her husband came. "One of the travelers is having a baby," I told him. "I'll wait while Aunt Sarah gets dressed." I stopped a moment to catch my breath. "And tell her to hurry."

By the time we got back to the barn, Joseph had "little Mary" settled on some soft, clean hay, wrapped up in a blanket, wiping the perspiration off her brow, and was speaking softly to her as she fought the waves of pain. Aunt Sarah sent me to get my Rachel, and then pushed Joseph and me out of the barn. "This ain't no place for men," she said.

We waited just outside in the shelter of the barn for hours, it seemed like. Well, all of a sudden, we hear a little cry. "You've got a baby boy," Aunt Sarah was saying as we peeped around the corner. She hands the young-un to Rachel, and she wraps it up in those swaddling bands she had saved. Cute little thing, I tell you.

Well, Joseph goes over to Mary and gives her a big hug, and a kiss on the cheek, and Rachel hands Mary the baby, and then comes over to me and takes my hand. "Remember when our Joshua was born?" she whispers. The lantern was blowing almost out, the cattle were lowing softly, and baby Jesus was asleep in his mother's arms. That's how I left them as I walked Aunt Sarah home. Chilly wind, though the sleet had stopped.

By the time I got back, Rachel was in bed, and I was about ready to put out the light, step over sleeping bodies, and get under the warm covers, when I heard some murmuring out by the barn.

I'd better check, I told myself. When I peeped in, I saw shepherds. Raggedy, smelly old shepherds were kneeling down on the filthy barn floor as if they were praying. The oldest one was saying something to Joseph about angels and the Messiah. And the rest of them just knelt there with their heads bowed, some with tears running down their faces.

I coughed out loud, and Joseph looked up. I was almost ready to run those thieving shepherds off, when Joseph motioned to me with his hand. "It's okay," he whispered. "They've come to see the Christ-baby."

The Christ-baby? The Messiah? That was when I knelt, too. And watched, and prayed, and listened to the old shepherd recount his story of angels and heavenly glory, and the sign of a holy baby, wrapped in swaddling bands, to be found in a stable-manger.

My Lord,, it was my stable where the Christ-baby was born. My manger he rested in. My straw, my lamp, my wife Rachel assisting at his birth.

The shepherds left after a while. Some of them leaned over and kissed the sleeping Christ-child before they departed. I know I did.

I'll always be glad I made room in the barn for that family-- that holy family. You see, I'm not some mean inn-keeper. I was there. I saw him. And, you know, years later that boy came back to Bethlehem, this time telling about the Kingdom of God. Oh, I believe in him, I tell you. I was there. And, mark my words, if you'd seen what I've seen, you'd be a believer, to.

by Ralph F. Wilson

God and Santa Similarities

It is that time of year again. It seems that every mall has its own fat man in a red suit someplace, complete with his own Christmas village and elf-like helper. There is likely to be a red-nosed reindeer somewhere nearby.

The children come up, sit on his lap and regale him with their lists of this years "must have" loot. Some of the children come quite excitedly, and other come in sheer terror, crying and screaming because they don't know who this strange looking man is and don't want to go near him, let alone sit in his lap. The parents try to reassure their frightened children that "It's only Santa."

Some people think that Santa Clause is a harmless Christmas tradition. Others fear that by encouraging Santa we teach our children lies and encourage greed. You can make a good case both ways. Even the whole concept of celebrating Christmas can have a strong case made for it or against it.

Whatever you think of Santa or Christmas, I see a lot of similarity between Santa and our concept of God.

Many people picture God as a bearded, elderly gentleman, in whose arms we can sit and give him our wish list. If we've been good little boys and girls, we'll get our wishes. Others are frightened by Him, and don't want to go anywhere near Him.

The reality is that neither concept of God is complete.

The Candy Cane

The candy cane has long been a Christmas tradition and was said to have been the creation of a fine Christian candy maker in Indiana. Its sweet peppermint taste has been enjoyed by young and old for years.

The candy maker started with pure white candy to symbolize Jesus' innocence (Heb 4:15) and the holiness of the sinless son of God (1 John 1:7).

The white also shows the virgin birth of Jesus: "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son..." (Matt 1:23).

He made the candy hard because the church is built on solid rock and God's promises are a firm foundation (Matt 16:18, 1Thess 5:24), and that Jesus is like a "rock", strong and dependable. (Psalm 31:3).

Next the candy maker made the candy in the shape of a 'J' for the name of Jesus who came to earth as our Savior (Matt 1:21, Acts 4:12).

When the candy was turned upside down, it is the shape of the Good Shepherd's staff (John 10:11). "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep".

Finally he stained the candy with red stripes. The color red symbolizes God's love that sent Jesus to give His life for us on the cross (John 3:16).

The large red stripe is for the blood Jesus shed for our sins on the cross (Eph 1:7). "In him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins,in accordance with the riches of God's grace."

The smaller stripes remind of Jesus' suffering and our redemptive healing (John 19: 1-30).

So this Christmas when you and your family hang candy canes on your tree remember that they're not just candy canes. Instead they are a symbol of the true meaning of Christmas, the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ.

Closed Doors

We need to learn to praise the Lord as much for a closed door as we do an open door. The reason God closes doors is because He has not prepared anything over there for us. If he didn't close the wrong door, we would never find the right door.

God directs our path through the closing and opening of doors. Once a door closes, it forces you to change your course. Another door closes,it forces you to change your course again. Then, finally,you find the open door and you walk right into your blessing.

The Lord directs our paths through the opening and closing of doors, but instead of praising him for the closed door (which keeps us out of trouble); we get upset because we "judge by the appearances. "

You have an ever-present help in the time of trouble that is always standing guard. Because He walks ahead of you, He can spot trouble down the road and set up a roadblock or detour accordingly. But through our lack of wisdom, we try to tear down the roadblocks or push aside the detour sign. Then the minute we get into trouble, we start crying, "Lord, how could You have done this to me?"

We have got to realize that the closed door can be a blessing. Didn't He say that no good thing would He withhold from them that love Him?

If you get terminated from your job, praise God for the new opportunities that will manifest themselves: it might be another job, it might be school.

If that man or woman won't return your call, it might not be them, it might be the Lord setting up a roadblock (just let it go).

One time, a person had a bank they had been in business with for many years tell them "No!" to a $10,000 loan. The Lord put in their spirit to call another bank. That bank gave them $40,000 at a lower interest rate than the first bank was offering.

We can sometimes trap ourselves in doubt and discouragement through judging by appearances. Be grateful for the many times our Father has closed doors to us just to open them in the most unexpected places.

The Lord won't always say in spoken words: "Go to the left, now to the right" ...sometimes He will just close the doors that are wrong for you.

God Bless You Always!

Quiet my heart, Lord

Quiet my heart, Lord,
and show me a Christmas
as peaceful and calm as
an old cattle shed...

Slow down my pace, Lord,
and help me seek Jesus,
the Son of Your Love,
in a humble straw bed...

Steady my spirit, Lord,
call me from chaos
in simple surrender
to pray and rejoice...

Breakthrough the busy,
too-bright celebration,
and whisper your message,
"Be still...hear my voice..."

Be still, and know that I am God..."
Psalm 46:10

My Christmas Address Book

I have a list of folks I know, all written in a book
And every year when Christmas comes, I go and take a look,
And that is when I realize that these names are a part
Not of the book they are written in, but really of my heart.

For each name stands for someone who has crossed my path sometime,
And in the meeting they've become the rhythm in each rhyme.
And while it sounds fantastic for me to make this claim,
I really feel that I'm composed of each remembered name.

And while you may not be aware of any special link
Just meeting you has changed my life a lot more than you think.
For once I've met somebody, the years cannot erase
The memory of a pleasant word or of a friendly face.

So never think my Christmas cards are just a mere routine
Of names upon a Christmas list, forgotten in between,
For when I send a Christmas card that is addressed to you,
It is because you're on the list that I'm indebted to.

For I am but a total of the many folks I've met,
And you happen to be one of those I prefer not to forget.
And whether I have known you for many years or few,
In some ways you have a part in shaping things I do.

And every year when Christmas comes, I realize anew,
The best gifts life can offer is meeting folks like you.
And may the spirit of Christmas that forever endures
Leave its richest blessings in the hearts of you and yours.

The Way Christmas Should Not Be

T'was the night before Christmasand all through the town
Not a sign of Baby Jesus
was anywhere to be found.

The people were all busy
with Christmas time chores
Like decorating,and baking,and shopping in stores.

No one sang "Away in a manger,no crib for a bed".
Instead, they sang of Santadressed-up in bright red.

Mama watched Martha Stewart, Papa drank beer from a tap.
As hour upon hour the presents they'd wrap
When what from the T.V.did they suddenly hear?'
Cept an ad.. which toldof a big sale at Sears.

So away to the mallthey all flew like a flash...
Buying things on credit...and others with cash!

And, as they made their way home
From their trip to the mall,Did they think about Jesus?
Oh, no... not at all.

Their lives were so busy with their Christmas time things
No time to remember Christ Jesus, the King.

There were presents to wrap and cookies to bake.
How could they stop and rememberwho died for their sake?

To pray to the Savior...they had no time to stop.
Because they needed more timeto "Shop til they dropped!"

On Wal-mart! On K-mart!On Target! On Penney's!
On Hallmark! On Zales! A quick lunch at Denny's

From the big stores downtownto the stores at the mall
They would dash away, dash away,and visit them all!

And up on the roof,there arose such a clatter
As grandpa hung icicle lightsup on his brand new step ladder.

He hung lights that would flash.
He hung lights that would twirl.
Yet, he never once prayed to Jesus...Light of the World.

Christ's eyes... how they twinkle!
Christ's Spirit... how merry!
Christ's love... how enormous!
All our burdens... He'll carry!
So instead of being busy,overworked, and uptight
Let's put Christ back in
Christmas and enjoysome good nights!

Merry Christmas, my friends!

Shipwrecked

There were two men shipwrecked on an island. One started screaming and yelling, "we're going to die! We're going to die! There's no food, no water! We're going to die!"

The second man was propped up against a palm tree, so calm it drove the first man crazy. "Don't you understand? We're going to die!"

The second man replied, "You don't understand. I make $100,000 a week."

The first man looked at him quite dumbfounded and asked, "what difference does that make? We're on an island with no food and no water. We're going to DIE!!!"

The second answered, "You just don't get it. I make $100,000 a week and I tithe on that $100,000 a week. My pastor will find me!"

The W in Christmas

Each December, I vowed to make Christmas a calm and peaceful experience. I had cut back on nonessential obligations - extensive card writing, endless baking, decorating, and even overspending. Yet still, I found myself exhausted, unable to appreciate the precious family moments, and of course, the true meaning of Christmas. My son, Nicholas, was in kindergarten that year. It was an exciting season for a six year old. For weeks, he'd been memorizing songs for his school's "Winter Pageant." I didn't have the heart to tell him I'd be working the night of the production. Unwilling to miss his shining moment, I spoke with his teacher. She assured me there'd be a dress rehearsal the morning of the presentation. All parents unable to attend that evening were welcome to come then.

Fortunately, Nicholas seemed happy with the compromise. So, the morning of the dress rehearsal, I filed in ten minutes early, found a spot on the cafeteria floor and sat down. Around the room, I saw several other parents quietly scampering to their seats. As I waited, the students were led into the room. Each class, accompanied by their teacher, sat cross-legged on the floor.

Then, each group, one by one, rose to perform their song. Because the public school system had long stopped referring to the holiday as "Christmas," I didn't expect anything other than fun, commercial entertainment - songs of reindeer, Santa Claus, snowflakes and good cheer.

So, when my son's class rose to sing, "Christmas Love," I was slightly taken aback by its bold title. Nicholas was aglow, as were all of his classmates, adorned in fuzzy mittens, red sweaters, and bright snowcaps upon their heads. Those in the front row- center stage - held up large letters, one by one, to spell out the title of the song.

As the class would sing "C is for Christmas," a child would hold up the letter C. Then, "H is for Happy," and on and on, until each child holding up his portion had presented the complete message, "Christmas Love."

The performance was going smoothly, until suddenly, we noticed her; a small, quiet, girl in the front row holding the letter "M" upside down - totally unaware her letter "M" appeared as a "W". The audience of 1st through 6th graders snickered at this little one's mistake. But she had no idea they were laughing at her, so she stood tall, proudly holding her "W".

Although many teachers tried to shush the children, the laughter continued until the last letter was raised, and we all saw it together. A hush came over the audience and eyes began to widen. In that instant, we understood the reason we were there, why we celebrated the holiday in the first place, why even in the chaos, there was a purpose for our festivities. For when the last letter was held high, the message read loud and clear:

"CHRISTWAS LOVE" And, I believe, He still is.

Sentence Quips

Maybe God wanted us to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe when the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

Maybe the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Maybe it is true that we don't know what we have got until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but if it does not, be content it grew in yours.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you are the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

God's Wings

After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park, forest rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno's damage.

One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree. Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick.

When he gently struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's wings. The loving mother, keenly aware of impending disaster, had carried her offspring to the base of the tree and had gathered them under her wings, instinctively knowing that the toxic smoke would rise.

She could have flown to safety but refused to. abandon her babies. When the blaze had arrived and the heat had scorched her small body, the mother had remained steadfast. Because she had been willing to die, those under the cover of her wings would live.

"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge." (Psalm 91:4)

Daily Survival Kit

DAILY SURVIVAL KIT

Items Needed:

* Toothpick
* Rubber Band
* Band Aid
* Pencil
* Eraser
* Chewing Gum
* Mint
* Candy Kiss
* Tea Bag

Why???

1) TOOTHPICK - to remind you to pick out the good qualities in others. -Matt. 7:1

2) RUBBER BAND - to remind you to be flexible, things might not always go the way you want,but it will work out. - Romans 8:28

3) BAND AID - to remind you to heal hurt feelings, yours or someone else's. -Col. 3:12-14

4) PENCIL - to remind you to list your blessings everyday. -Eph.1:3

5) ERASER - To remind you that everyone makes mistakes, and it's OK. -Gen.50:15-21

6) CHEWING GUM - to remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish anything.-Phil 4:13

7) MINT - to remind you that you are worth a mint ! - John 3:16-17

8) CANDY KISS - to remind you that everyone needs a kiss or a hug everyday. - 1 John 4:7

9) TEA BAG - to remind you to relax daily and go over that list of blessings. -- 1 Thess 5:18

Expecting the Wrong Answer

Sometimes people will say things like, " Your prayers did not work, but thanks," as if a person could be praying for only one thing, maybe a miracle or a cure.

Sometimes we simply ask for God's mercy, "Let me friend die at home, Lord, and not in the hospital." "Let her go quickly, God, and with her loved ones present."

Sometimes all we ask is "Lord, what is it you want of me?"

Sometimes we have to ask "Please change me in ways I cannot imagine." Sometimes when prayer seems unanswered, it's because you are expecting an answer and don't see the real answer.

I asked God

I asked God to take away my pride. God said "No". It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. God said "No". Her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience. God said "No". Patience is a by-product of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness. God said "No". I give you blessings, happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain. God said "No". Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow. God said "No". You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. God said "No". I will give you life so that you may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as he loves me. God said... Ahhhh, finally you have the idea!

Dear Friend

DEAR FRIEND,

As you got up this morning, I watched you and hoped you would talk to me, even if it was just a few words, asking my opinion, or thanking me for something good that happened in your life yesterday. But I noticed you were too busy trying to find the right outfit to put on and wear to school.

I waited again. When you ran around the house getting ready, I knew there would be a few minutes for you to stop and say hello. But you were too busy. At one point, you had to wait fifteen minutes without nothing to do except sit in a chair.

Then I saw you spring to your feet. I thought you wanted to talk to me but you ran to the phone and called a friend to get the latest gossip.

I watched as you went to school and I waited patiently all day long. With all your activities, I guess you were too busy to say anything to me. I noticed that

before lunch you looked around. Maybe you felt embarrassed to talk to me, that is why you didn't bow your head. You glanced three or four tables over and

you noticed some of your friends talking to me briefly before they ate. But you didn't.

That's okay. There is still more time left and I have hope that you will talk to me. Even yet, you went home and it seemed as if you had lots of things to do.

After a few of them were done you turned on the TV. I don't know if I like TV or not. Just about anything goes there & you spend a lot of time each day in front

of it, not thinking about anything; just enjoying the show. I waited patiently again as you watched TV and ate your meal. But again you didn't talk to me. As you did your homework, I waited again. You did what you had to do.

At bedtime I guess you felt too tired. After you said goodnight to your family you plopped into bed and fell asleep in no time.

That's okay because you may not realize that I am always there for you. I've got patience. More than you will ever know. I even want to teach you how to be patient with others as well. Because I love you so much. A long time ago, I left a wonderful place called Heaven and came to Earth. I gave it up so that I could be ridiculed and made fun of. And I even died so you wouldn't have to take my place. I love you so much that I wait everyday for a nod, prayer, thought, or a thankful part of your heart. It is hard to have a one-sided conversation.

Well you are getting up again and once again I will wait with nothing but love for you; hoping that today you will give me some time.

Have a nice day!

Your friend,

Jesus

Bless my Computer

Dear Lord:

Every single evening
As I'm lying here in bed
This tiny little prayer
Keeps running through my head.

God bless my Mom and dad,
And other family.
Keep them warm and safe from harm
For they're so close to me.

And God, there is one more thing
I wish that you could do.
Hope you don't mind me asking,
Bless my computer too.

Now I know that it's not normal
To bless a mother board,
But listen just a second
While I explain to you 'My Lord'.

You see, that little metal box
Holds more than odds & ends
Inside those small compartments
Rest so many of my FRIENDS.

I know so much about them
By the kindness that they give
And this little scrap of metal
Takes me in to where they live.

By faith is how I know them
Much the same as you
We share in what life brings us
And from that our friendship grew.

Please, take an extra minute
From your duties up above
To bless those in my address book
That's filled with so much love!

Wherever else this prayer may reach
To each and every friend,
Bless each email inbox
And the person who its send.

When you update your heavenly list
On your own CD-Rom
Remember each who've said this prayer
Sent up to God.com.


Amen.

Let God Know How You Feel When you Pray

O God, break the teeth in their mouths;

tear out the fangs of the young lions, O Lord!

Let them vanish like water that runs away;

like grass let them be trodden down and wither.

Let them be like the snail that dissolves into slime;

like the untimely birth that never sees the sun. (Psalm 58:6-8)

Now that psalmist was mad, and he did not try to hide it . . . .

Too often you have been warned against presenting yourself to God just as you are. You are taught early a conventional dishonesty with God, such as, "When you pray, put a smile on your face. Be nice. You might offend God. Don't let God know how you really feel." The psalmists insist that if you really want to have an intimate relationship with God, then come to the relationship as you are. Do not wear a mask. God can handle you without any cosmetics.

-- E. Glenn Hinson

When it Hurts, Pray!

Have people ever talked untruths about you behind your back? Have they spoken these words in front of you? Have they spread these untruths around? Have your friends believed the lies also? If you have then you know the hurt that comes with that. You also know how hard the struggle is to not retaliate against them We can learn a lesson from David when he prayed and gave the problem over to God. God knows the score... He knows the hearts of men and all is in His hands. So when this happens to us and false witnesses arise against lets not fret but turn it over to the Lord.

Setting Your Face to God in Prayer

I came home from my job late at night. I had left my keys inside, so I knocked.... no answer. I could see my wife sitting in the living room watching TV, so I knocked again... still no answer. I decided to climb through the window. Once entering I was amazed at my wife's stare at the movie she was watching. No blinking, no twitching, just complete concentration. That is "setting your face" to something.

Daniel "set his face" to God in prayer.

Oh if only we could learn to focus our gaze on the Lord that intensely. Lord help us.

Anger & Prayer

Let your anger off to God. God can handle it. The people you are mad at cannot.

And you cannot retain the anger. If you bottle it up inside, anger will become a volcano.

Sometimes the best prayer you can pray is to go into your closet and cuss.

Even though....I thank you Lord

Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings, thank you, Lord, that I can hear. There are many who are deaf.

Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possible, thank you, Lord, that I can see. Many are blind.

Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising, thank you, Lord, that I have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden.

Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, when socks are lost, toast is burned and tempers are short, my children are so loud, thank you, Lord, for my family. There are many who are lonely.

Even though our breakfast table never looks like the pictures in magazines and the menu is at times unbalanced, thank you, Lord, for the food we have. There are many who are hungry.

Even though the routine of my job often is monotonous, thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to work. There are many who have no job.

Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day and wish my circumstances were not so modest, thank you, Lord, for life!

I thank you Lord

Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings, thank you, Lord, that I can hear. There are many who are deaf.

Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possible, thank you, Lord, that I can see. Many are blind.

Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising, thank you, Lord, that I have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden.

Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, when socks are lost, toast is burned and tempers are short, my children are so loud, thank you, Lord, for my family. There are many who are lonely.

Even though our breakfast table never looks like the pictures in magazines and the menu is at times unbalanced, thank you, Lord, for the food we have. There are many who are hungry.

Even though the routine of my job often is monotonous, thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to work. There are many who have no job.

Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day and wish my circumstances were not so modest, thank you, Lord, for life!

Pray First

There was once a man who had nothing for his family to eat. He had an old shotgun and three bullets. So, he decided that he would go out and kill something to eat for dinner. As he went down the road, he saw a rabbit and he shot at the rabbit and missed it. Then he saw a squirrel and fired a shot at the squirrel and missed it. As he went further, he saw a wild turkey in the tree and he had only one bullet, but a voice came to him and said "pray first, aim high and stay focused."

However, at the same time, he saw a deer which was a better kill. He brought the gun down and aimed at the deer. But, then he saw a rattlesnake between his legs about to bite him - so he naturally brought the gun down further to shoot the rattlesnake. Still, the voice said again to him, "I said 'Pray first, aim high and stay focused.'"

So, the man decided to follow the voice. He prayed, then aimed the gun high up in the tree and shot the wild turkey. The bullet bounced off the turkey and killed the deer. The handle fell off the gun and hit the snake in the head and killed it. And, when the gun had gone off, it knocked him into a pond of water.

When he got up to look around, he had fish in all his pockets, a dead deer and turkey to eat. The snake

(e.g. Satan) was dead simply because the man listened to God: Pray first, aim high and stay focused.

Bottom line: Pray first before you do anything, aim and shoot high in your goals, and stay focused on God ...

* Faith is not the absence of doubt, but a step taken in spite of doubt.

* A faith that hasn't been tested, can't be trusted.

* Faith is daring the soul to go beyond what the eyes can see.

PUSH

My Pastor always said to PUSH.

(Pray Until Something Happens).

Lets all PUSH not just for our selves, or family and friends, but for all.

God Bless everyone that will PUSH with me.

If God decided to install voice mail?

Imagine praying and hearing this:

Thank you for calling My Father's House.

Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for Requests

Press 2 for Thanksgiving

Press 3 for Complaints

Press 4 for All Other Inquiries

I am sorry, all of our angels are busy helping others right now. However, your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order in which it was received, so please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:

God - press 1

Jesus - press 2

The Holy Spirit - press 3

Another Higher Being - press 4

If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are holding, please press 4.

To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven: press 5. Enter his or her Social Security number, then press the pound key. If you get a negative response, try area code 666.

For nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you arrive here.

Our computers show that you have already prayed once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow.

This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday. Please pray again Monday after 9:30 a.m. If you need emergency assistance dial 1(900) GOD-WHY ME (this is a toll call)

A Conversation with God

"Our Father which art in heaven," --- Yes?

"Don't interrupt me. I'm praying" --- But you called me

"Called you? I didn't call you. I'm praying. 'Our Father which art in heaven," ---

There you did it again

"Did what?" -- Called me. You said, "Our Father which art in heaven." Here I am.

What's on your mind?

"But I didn't mean anything by it. I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day. I always say the Lord's Prayer. It makes me feel good, kind of like getting a duty done." --- All right. Go on.

"Hallowed be Thy name." --- Hold it. What do you mean by that?

"By what?" --- By "Hallowed be Thy name?"

"It means. It means .... Good grief, I don't know what it means. How should I know? It's just a part of the prayer. By the way, what does it mean?" ---It means honored, holy, wonderful.

"Hey that makes sense. I never thought about what 'hallowed' meant before."

"Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." --- Do you really mean that?

" Sure, why not?" --- What are you doing about it?

"Doing? Nothing, I guess. I just think it would be kind of neat if you got control of everything down here like you have up there." --- Have I got control of you?

" Well, I go to church." --- That isn't what I asked you. What about your temper? You've really got a problem there, you know. And then there's the way you spend your money - all on yourself. And what about the kinds of books you read and what you watch on TV?

"Stop picking on me! I'm just as good as the rest of those people at church." ---Excuse me. I thought you were praying for my will to be done. If that is to happen, it will have to start with the ones who are praying for it. Like you, for example.

"Oh, all right. I guess I do have some hang-ups. Now that you mention it, I could probably name some others." ---So could I.

"I haven't thought about it very much until now, but I'd really like to cut out some of those things. I would like to, you know, be really free." --- Good. Now we're getting somewhere. We'll work together, you and I. Some victories can be truly won. I'm proud of you.

"Look, Lord, I need to finish this up here. This is taking a lot longer than it usually does ... Give us this day our daily bread." --- You could cut out the bread. It would help you lose weight.

"Hey, wait a minute! What is this, 'Criticize, ME day?' Here I was doing my religious duty, and all of a sudden you break in and remind me of all my hang-ups." --- Praying is a dangerous thing. You could wind up changed, you know.

--- That's what I'm trying to get across to you. Keep praying. I'm interested in the next part of your prayer.

-- (Pause) Well, go on.

" I'm scared to." --- Scared? Of what?

"I know what you'll say." --- Try me and see.

"Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us." --- What about Ann?

"See? I knew it! I knew you would bring her up! Why Lord she's told lies about me, spread stories about my family. She never paid back the money she owes me. I've sworn to get even with her!" --- But your prayer? What about your prayer?

"I didn't mean it." --- Well, at least you're honest. But it's not much fun carrying that load of bitterness inside you, is it?

"No. But, I'll feel better as soon as I get even. Boy, have I got some plans for that neighbor. She'll wish she had never moved into this neighborhood." --- You won't feel any better. You'll feel worse. Revenge isn't sweet. Think of how unhappy you already are. But, I can change all that.

"You can? How?" --- Forgive Ann. Then I'll forgive you. Then the hate and sin will be Ann's problem and not yours. You will have settled your heart.

"Oh, you're right. You always are. And, more than I want to get revenge against Ann, I want to be right with you. But ... (Pause) ... (Sigh) ... All right. I forgive her. Help her to find the right road in life, Lord. She's bound to be awfully miserable now that I think about it. Anybody who goes around doing the things she does to others has to be out of it. Someway, somehow, show her the right way. --- There now! Wonderful! How do you feel?

"Hmmm. Well, not bad. Not bad at all. I feel pretty great. You know, I don't think I'll have to go to bed uptight tonight for the first time since I can remember. Maybe I won't be so tired from now on because I'm not getting enough rest." --- You're not through with your prayers. Go on.

"Oh, all right. "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." --- Good! Good! I'll do that. Just don't put yourself in a place where you can be tempted.

"What do you mean by that?" --- Don't turn the TV on when you know the laundry needs to be done and the house needs to be picked up. Also about the time you spend with your friends, if you can't influence the conversation to positive things, perhaps you should rethink the value of those friendships. Another thing, your neighbors and friends shouldn't be your standard for "keeping up."

--- And please don't use me as an escape hatch.

" I don't understand that last part." --- Sure you do. You've done it a lot of times. You get caught in a bad situation. You get in trouble and then you come running to me: "Lord, help me out of this mess, and I promise you I'll never do it again." You remember some of those bargains you tried to make with me?

"Yes, and I'm ashamed, Lord, I really am." ---Which bargain are you remembering?

"Well, there was the night that my husband was gone and the children and I were home alone. The wind was blowing so hard I thought the roof would go any minute and tornado warnings were out. I remember saying, 'Oh God, if you spare us, I'll never skip my devotions again." --- I protected you, but you didn't keep your promise, did you?
"I'm sorry, Lord I really am. Up until now I thought that if I just prayed the Lord's Prayer every day, then I could do what I liked. I didn't expect anything to happen like this." --- Go ahead and finish your prayer.

"For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. Amen" --- Do you know what would bring me glory? What would really make me happy?

"No, but I'd like to know. I want to please you. I can see what a mess I've made of my life. And I can see how great it would be to really be one of your followers." --- You just answered the question.

"I did?" --- Yes. The thing that would bring me glory is to have people like you truly love me. And I see that happening between us. Now that some of these old sins are exposed and out of the way, there is no telling what we can do together.

"Lord, let's see what we can make of me, OK?" --- Yes, let's see.

DON'T REPEAT THE LORD'S PRAYER, PRAY THE LORD'S PRAYER

True Prayer

An unknown author penned these words:

I asked God to take away my pride. God said, "No. It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up."

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. God said, "No. Her spirit is whole, her body is only temporary."

I asked God to grant me patience. God said, "No. Patience is a by-product of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is earned."

I asked God to give me happiness. God said, "No. I give you blessings, happiness is up to you."

I asked God to spare me pain. God said, "No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me."

I asked God to make my spirit grow. God said, "No. You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful."

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. God said, "No. I will give you life so that you may enjoy all things."

I asked God to help me love others, as much as God loves me. God said... "Ahhhh, finally you have the idea!"

Someone accurately said that maturity in prayer occurs when we are able to move from the plea, "Give me..." to the deeper prayer, "Use me."

ASAP

Ever wonder about the abbreviation ASAP? Generally, we think of it in terms of even more hurry and stress in our lives. Maybe if we think of this abbreviation in a different manner, we will gegin to find a new way to deal with those rough days along the way.

There's work to do, deadlines to meet;
You've got no time to spare,
But as you hurry and scurry-
ASAP- Always Say A Prayer

In the midst of family chaos,
"Quality time" is rare.
Do your best; let God do the rest-
ASAP- Always Say A Prayer.

It may seem like your worries
Are more than you can bear.
Slow down and take a breather-
ASAP- Always Say A Prayer

God knows how stressful life is;
He wants to ease our cares,
And He'll respond
A.S.A.P.- Always Say A Prayer

By:. Lisa Engelhardt
Text © Abbey Press, St. Meinrad, IN. 47577
http://www.abbeypress.com/textlink/05843.asp

Being Quiet in church


A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."

Dad Scribbles


Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers.

The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."

The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."

The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

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