Conversations with Men
Being the only woman in the house, sometimes I just need to babble about my conversations with men. Here are three from this week. Why do men not listen? I often wonder if I ask the opposite of what I want, if I will get what I want.
THE SNAKES
Setting: Mom is sitting in bed with laptop; son enters with bucket
SON: I have good news and bad news. I caught a baby snake in the yard, but the other got away and got in between the house and the siding.
Activity: Mom and son struggle as Mom tries to see the snake, but son is careful not to tip the bucket so it gets out.
MOM: I told everyone this would happen when our neighbor allowed a jungle to grow in their backyard. Someone needs to show them. Now take that back outside; every other mom would be freaking out right now if theer son brought a snake into the house, much less into her bed.
SON (shocked look): I thought you'd want to blog about this.
MOM: (laugh) I guess you all are getting so used to and expecting me to say "that's blog material." Let me grab my camera.
Yes, God did know what he was doing when he gave me three sons. Why a snake in my bed did not bother me, I do not know. Because now that I think back and imagine what could have happened, like my son tripping and the snake getting lose in the house, or even the bed, I am wondering about myself!
THE SHOWER
Setting: Someone has changed the shower head (yes, Mom always gets the surprises) and Mom is so short, she is having trouble turning the nozzle back.
MOM: aHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
HUBBY: What's wrong, is there something I can do.
MOM: Come here and see this trickling water.
HUBBY: Hold on.
Activity: Hubby runs outside to turn off sprinkler which takes about 5 minutes. Mom gives up waiting and begins showering in a sprinkle.
HUBBY: There, is that better.
MOM: If you call showering in a sprinkle, it is.
HUBBY: I do not understand.
MOM: Why did you run the other way when I said "Come here?"
HUBBY: Oh, you want me to come there.
Do you think if I would have told him to go outside, he might have come into the bathroom?
THE BATTERY
Setting: Two sons are ready to come home from dinner at 4:30 after a hot day at band camp, with only a little time to spare before returning to band camp.
SON (on cell phone): Mom, the car will not start and the locks do not even work.
MOM: Call your brother and get him to come and jump it. Call me back and let me know if you got a hold of him.
SON: Okay.
Activity: Mom hurries to finish some things at work while waiting for the phone call. No call comes. She gives up waiting. She calls son#2, no answer. She calls son #3, no answer. She calls son#1.
MOM: Did your brothers get ahold of you?
SON: Yes, they got a ride home and should be here any minute.
MOM: What! That is not what I told them to do! Why doesn't anyone ever listen to Mom. I'm coming home; be ready to get in my van.
Activity: Mom and son drive to car and jump start it only to find the lights were left on. The battery still needs to be checked, but now it is after 5 p.m., so they are left to the services of Wal-mart. Wal-mart informs them it will take 3 hours just to put a thingy on the battery to test it to see if it is any good. Mom goes home to get sons and take them back to band camp.
MOM (giving sons a good lecture for not obeying while they are stuck in the van having to listen on the way back to school): Why did you not do what I told you? Do you not think Mom is wiser having been through more and having more knowledge? I knew we only had a short time to get the car some place, so short of a time, that I did not want to take the time on the phone to explain all of that to you. Because you came home, now we missed the opportunity for a quick fix at another shop and you caused this to be an all night event because you did not listen. Now I have to drive you back to school, drive home, drive back to Wal-mart to get your car, drive the car back to the school, and drive home again, when you could be in your car right now driving yourself to school. On top of that, you copped out on your problem which you caused. Never leave your problems for someone else to solve. I do not care how hot you were or how hungry you were. If this were real life on your own, Mom may not have been there to rescue you. Now you missed the opportunity to learn hands on how to jump start your car and how to follow up after you get it jump started. The only way you are gonna learn in life is hands on learning and you just copped out on it. You wouldn't call someone else for help and then just leave them......yada yada yada.....
Yes, sometimes life's lessons and punishments are merely having to --listen to Mom go on and on.
Do you think if I would have told him to get a ride home, he would have stayed with the car?
And to anyone who has read this far, give yourself a big pat on the back for being a caring person, caring enough to read other's babbles.
Men! Life with men!
Oh, but I still love them.
THE SNAKES
Setting: Mom is sitting in bed with laptop; son enters with bucketSON: I have good news and bad news. I caught a baby snake in the yard, but the other got away and got in between the house and the siding.
Activity: Mom and son struggle as Mom tries to see the snake, but son is careful not to tip the bucket so it gets out.
MOM: I told everyone this would happen when our neighbor allowed a jungle to grow in their backyard. Someone needs to show them. Now take that back outside; every other mom would be freaking out right now if theer son brought a snake into the house, much less into her bed.
SON (shocked look): I thought you'd want to blog about this.
MOM: (laugh) I guess you all are getting so used to and expecting me to say "that's blog material." Let me grab my camera.
Yes, God did know what he was doing when he gave me three sons. Why a snake in my bed did not bother me, I do not know. Because now that I think back and imagine what could have happened, like my son tripping and the snake getting lose in the house, or even the bed, I am wondering about myself!
THE SHOWER
Setting: Someone has changed the shower head (yes, Mom always gets the surprises) and Mom is so short, she is having trouble turning the nozzle back.
MOM: aHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
HUBBY: What's wrong, is there something I can do.
MOM: Come here and see this trickling water.
HUBBY: Hold on.
Activity: Hubby runs outside to turn off sprinkler which takes about 5 minutes. Mom gives up waiting and begins showering in a sprinkle.
HUBBY: There, is that better.
MOM: If you call showering in a sprinkle, it is.
HUBBY: I do not understand.
MOM: Why did you run the other way when I said "Come here?"
HUBBY: Oh, you want me to come there.
Do you think if I would have told him to go outside, he might have come into the bathroom?
THE BATTERY
Setting: Two sons are ready to come home from dinner at 4:30 after a hot day at band camp, with only a little time to spare before returning to band camp.
SON (on cell phone): Mom, the car will not start and the locks do not even work.
MOM: Call your brother and get him to come and jump it. Call me back and let me know if you got a hold of him.
SON: Okay.
Activity: Mom hurries to finish some things at work while waiting for the phone call. No call comes. She gives up waiting. She calls son#2, no answer. She calls son #3, no answer. She calls son#1.
MOM: Did your brothers get ahold of you?
SON: Yes, they got a ride home and should be here any minute.
MOM: What! That is not what I told them to do! Why doesn't anyone ever listen to Mom. I'm coming home; be ready to get in my van.
Activity: Mom and son drive to car and jump start it only to find the lights were left on. The battery still needs to be checked, but now it is after 5 p.m., so they are left to the services of Wal-mart. Wal-mart informs them it will take 3 hours just to put a thingy on the battery to test it to see if it is any good. Mom goes home to get sons and take them back to band camp.
MOM (giving sons a good lecture for not obeying while they are stuck in the van having to listen on the way back to school): Why did you not do what I told you? Do you not think Mom is wiser having been through more and having more knowledge? I knew we only had a short time to get the car some place, so short of a time, that I did not want to take the time on the phone to explain all of that to you. Because you came home, now we missed the opportunity for a quick fix at another shop and you caused this to be an all night event because you did not listen. Now I have to drive you back to school, drive home, drive back to Wal-mart to get your car, drive the car back to the school, and drive home again, when you could be in your car right now driving yourself to school. On top of that, you copped out on your problem which you caused. Never leave your problems for someone else to solve. I do not care how hot you were or how hungry you were. If this were real life on your own, Mom may not have been there to rescue you. Now you missed the opportunity to learn hands on how to jump start your car and how to follow up after you get it jump started. The only way you are gonna learn in life is hands on learning and you just copped out on it. You wouldn't call someone else for help and then just leave them......yada yada yada.....
Yes, sometimes life's lessons and punishments are merely having to --listen to Mom go on and on.
Do you think if I would have told him to get a ride home, he would have stayed with the car?
And to anyone who has read this far, give yourself a big pat on the back for being a caring person, caring enough to read other's babbles.
Men! Life with men!
Oh, but I still love them.
6 comments:
how funny!!! thanks for sharing your stories!!!
Too funny! And OMG to the snake. I found a dead one in our yard and it took every ounce of will power I had not Spidey up the side of the garage. If the kids hadn't been standing there watching me I would have screamed, wet my pants, and ran far far away. LOL
I think having human sons bring snakes to bed is better than cats bringing them to bed (true story). At least a son has the sense, like yours, to not let it loose. To not bring it bloodied. OK I am making myself sick with the memory now.
I just love reading about your interactions with your menfolk! You sound like a wonderful person who has a lot of fun with your family.
I am cracking up! I too am the only estrogen dominant individual in my family (even the dog is a male) and though my son is only 16 months old he already doesn't listen to me and gives me tht same puzzled "huh?" look that he inherited from his father. I love reading your blog and seeing what I have to look forward to. Thanks for sharing. Have a great day!
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