Earning my Eagle

Well, I knew the time would come when I would feel like blogging in a down mood. I know over at myspace they have a block to put what type of mood you are in when you blog. Now I realize why that is there.

{insert mood}

Last night was rough for the whole house. The boys were off school yesterday for Columbus Day and my son had all day to work on typing up his Eagle project post-paperwork. I even instructed him the night before that he had the time to work on it. I came home from lunch yesterday and he was watching t.v. and had not worked on it at all, so I instructed him once again that I wanted to see a lot of progress on it when I got home.

I came home from work and there was maybe three lines (yes, lines, not even sentences) added to it. That’s when things began to get ugly. Okay, that’s when I began to get ugly. Not horribly ugly, but not the type of person I want to be. Having been at work late, I quickly brainstormed with him to give him inspiration on what to write, scarfed down leftovers in about 10 minutes time, and took off for the scout meeting with my other son, leaving this one at home where he could better apply his time.

He was officially grounded from all t.v., games, and anything with a screen until his Eagle packet is turned into the scout office.

You know, being a parent is one of the hardest things a person can do. I hate it when they make me ugly and I hate it when I have to be the bad guy. I especially hate being the bad guy all the time while my hubby gets to be the good guy, buddy-buddy-good-friend. So often I feel like I’ve raised these three boys all by myself. But without saying more on a blog readable by the internet world, I think you can get the idea that things got uglier as the night progressed. No, he does not go against what parenting I’ve administered, but he does not get behind me and back me up either, but rather just talks to them in a friendly way, leaving me to look even worse.

When I returned from the scout meeting, finally, some progress had been done. However, he was stuck, so I had to work with him to brainstorm some more. His attitude and back-talking just made me uglier as the hours went by.

I feel like they are making me ugly and making me be a person I do not want to be. Of course, I know the ultimate choice is mine in how I act, but I do not know how I could have acted any different.

Living with four men is sure a challenge.

I woke up this morning to find my computer locked up after my son who comes home sometime in the middle of the night every night and then spends the rest of the night on the computer had been on it. It took me at least 20 minutes to get it up and running. I go to bed and it is fine, I wake up and it is messed up. Sigh. Why do I feel like I spend my life fixing all of their mistakes?

I had these same Eagle Scout struggles with my first son. The stress to get it done was horrible. I know how much the oldest and youngest are just alike and I feared that this would happened, even dreaded it. And now it is here. God sure knew what he was doing when he stuck that middle son in there to give me a break. I was hoping this third time would go like the second instead of the first.

Now, I refuse to do the work for them (as I am well aware some parents do), but I feel like I’ve had to give them a swift kick in the rear end the entire way. About twelve years of keeping track of requirements for both cub scouts and boy scouts and making sure they are done for three different boys has been more than enough for me. I think I’ve earned my Eagle more than three times over. I am so ready to be done with all this requirement tracking and get this burden off of my shoulders. Then we can just attend scouts and have fun.

I think it is a rare boy who earns his Eagle that does not have some sort of parental or adult encouragement. We really must make an effort to recognize all of the adults involved in scouting, whether they have a position and title or not. It takes all of them working together to make an Eagle.

Now, I get to be the bad guy cop in reinforcing the punishment of grounding from all screens. I’m not looking forward to it, but I am looking forward to getting this stage of our lives behind us.

You can pray for us as that would be appreciated.